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My Body Acceptance Journey By Rachael Morgan

20 Apr

This guest post is one that moved me to tears. It was written by the beautiful Rachael, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

The argument of what is considered to be beautiful is a daily topic for many women within this generation. Too skinny, too fat, too small, too tall, flat chested and massive knockers – there’s so much controversy of how we should or shouldn’t look. One minute you’re looking at slender catwalk models and the next being greeted by average sized women in the latest beauty promotion. Body confidence is important and I live by the rule that aside from the occasional use of slimming pants once in a while – accepting your body is the best thing you can do for your mental health and in most cases physical health. I spent almost nine years of my life depriving myself of my natural lumps and bumps and overcame a variety of difficulties regarding how I view my body whilst struggling with obvious defects.

I was always a chubby kid, for as long as I can remember other children seemed ten times smaller than me. I became overweight in primary school and by the age of eight I was already fitting in to size 12 clothing. It was always obvious, even when I was a natural chubby youngster that I’d be the one to have boobs first and develop a womanly body as I grew older, but as attention was drawn to my body from a young age for being a bit different – I thrived off eating more. In some ways I thought this was expected of me. ‘The fat kid’, so I may as well carry on eating my sweets, By the age of 9 I was bullied badly for my increasing weight gain and this is around the time my relationship with food became some sort of a disastrous love story.

I starved myself of anything good – vegetables, fruit and nutritious meals purposely and lived off anything processed – burgers, chocolates and crisps. When I reached 13 I was coming up to 18 stone on the scales. As I began secondary school other girls my age started talking about boyfriends and fashion whilst the highlight of my day was lunch time. It was like I was possessed by food. It was the one thing that cheered me up and made me feel happy – biting in to something tasty. I always imagined in my head that I was a lot slimmer and it wasn’t a big deal and made up for my lack ‘looks’ by being bubbly and the class clown. I’ve always had a big personality and during the time of my weight issues, I’ve always used this as my disguise.

Reaching my teens also meant of course, the dramatic growth of boobs. I already had A cups from the age of 9 but when I hit 13 they seemed to appear out of nowhere. As my breasts began to grow naturally along with puberty and my weight gaining, I was horrified by what became attached to my chest. I developed an F cup, however my right breast never grew and took a stand still at a B cup. I always thought like my mum and elder sister I’d inherit a wonderful set of naturally large knockers and was appalled at how my breasts look. The insecurity of being so overweight and developing asymmetrical breasts took a very dramatic turn on my mental health. I felt like a walking joke, as the bullying got worse I lost the disguise of being able to laugh off the awful comments and with my right cup of my bra padded out with 4 chicken fillets to even out the differences, I felt like everyone knew my little breast secret.

At the age of 13 I began throwing up after my meals in a desperate bid to lose weight. I thought by losing weight, maybe my breasts would even out and I’d lose weight, therefore I’d be happy and slim. I decided I’d throw up my dinner every night to shed a bit of the unwanted weight and would do it until I’d lost enough weight to be considered ‘normal’. As the days, weeks and months went on I noticed that throwing up my dinner was making me lose weight, but not that much to be a plausible or a noticeable weight loss – I was still being bullied for being overweight and my breasts hadn’t changed in the slightest. I knew I needed to increase my weight loss regime but I still had a passion for eating hefty quantities of food. By the time I was 15 I began throwing up after everything I ate, but would often go back for another meal to compensate. I was purging and replacing the calories with other fattening foods. At 15 I began to face the consequences of my eating disorder as my body didn’t have a clue what was going on. Was I starving or overeating – it was a very dangerous and unhealthy contrast and at 16 I developed pneumonia and began to gradually turn gaunt and yellow.
By my 17th birthday I had been hospitalised for contracting various liver and stomach infections due to bile erosion. After having pneumonia and being unable to physically eat, my body kicked in to starvation mode and when I was well enough to eat – I decided against it. I’d lost so much weight not eating anything so I began my bid to keep this cycle of starvation in place. During the whole year of 2007 and 2008 I only ever ate a slice of ham a day and vomited any other food I consumed. I became bones, my skin was yellow and dry, the bags under my eyes resembled bin bags, I was tired, I was constantly in and out of hospital, my family was at despair and I dedicated my entire life to exercising and making sure my body was as tiny as it could physically be. I regularly vomited blood, I was unable to have braces on my teeth as the acid would of rotted my teeth noticeably with the braces and I was physically unrecognisable. By this point I was so ill I was no longer at school and spent months at a time in my bedroom by myself researching on ‘thinspiration’ websites and gaining new ideas of how to keep the weight off. I endured many illnesses through my friendship with bulimia – I had bronchitis, constantly had throat infections, I suffered from bad digestion and indigestion problems, my nails fell off, my hair fell out, at one point my eyebrows even began to fall out. My fingers where often blue and scabbed over from making myself vomit. At 19, it had been around 3 years since I had done a ‘normal’ poo.

It affected every single element of my life – education, relationships, jobs, family and friends. I couldn’t go out for a meal without having to run off to the bathroom to throw up.

My breasts at this point had lost a lot of their content, so I was now left with asymmetrical sacks with nothing in them. The phrase ‘oranges in plastic bags’ could not of suited my chest more. I could never find a bra to fit, I could never wear certain tops or dresses and when it came to being intimate the fear of exposing my breasts and being laughed at made it impossible to feel comfortable around men. Sleepovers with friends in general was an issue as I’d always have to sleep with my bra on lined with my chicken fillets. The physical discomfort of wearing a bra constantly was awful and I often found the textures of the chicken fillets I wore made me develop rashes and eczema on my right breast. I felt like a complete alien or like I had breasts from a joke shop attached to me. I didn’t see the point in bettering my health as what would be the point – I’d still be ‘ugly’.

By the age of 21 I had reached my peak of unhappiness with the way my life was. I didn’t feel I had an eating disorder, I felt the eating disorder had me. My breasts grew saggier as I kept fighting to be skinny and I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2011. I was so disgusted by this diagnosis as I always thought that I wouldn’t let myself get that bad, after all I only started throwing up here and there when I was 13 to keep some pounds off. So how an earth was I ten stone lighter. I was diagnosed by doctors with bulimia when I was 16 but as that was such a long time ago, I thought despite clearly being bulimic, that diagnosis would of ‘ran out’ and I was actually normal. I completely forgot how to eat, I would prepare food and was thinking of throwing it back up as soon as I’d ate it. As my anorexia really kicked in, as soon as I’d ate a meal I would naturally start throwing up without even having to encourage it. It was embarrassing and degrading. I had no confidence and had encountered several failed relationships due to my mentality. Receiving compliments felt like I was still being bullied only now I was being patronised. As my last relationship ended during this time I realised how much my life affects other people and deprives me of the natural things that occur in life – I was now depriving myself of happiness, love and sex. The bulimia and the anorexia had began to eat away at my family, friends and partners. I’d get taken out for meals by my previous partner and leave him sat in the bar whilst I spent half an hour in the toilets pretending to ‘poo’. Looking back it could not of been more obvious what I was doing yet nobody quite knew how to help me any more. I’d seen every councillor, doctor and psychiatrist you could but I wasn’t ready then to let go of my life as I knew as soon as I admitted defeat I’d have to regain weight and the prospect of that petrified me.

At the age of 21 I decided I needed to do something with my breasts at some point to have a chance of feeling confident in life. I’m not saying surgery is the only option here for people with asymmetrical breasts, but my case was so severe and extreme that it was the only thing that could be done. I think surgeons need to be given gratitude for how much they can change someone’s life. Surgery is very serious and there’s a lot of stigma around it. I feared even getting surgery would instantly make me one of those ‘Hollywood plastics’ and I’d still be unaccepted by everyone. It wasn’t until I spoke to a surgeon and he assessed me that I learnt it was very common to have surgery and it is acceptable. I saw a private surgeon as I had previously tried via the NHS and was rejected due to my BMI. The surgeon I saw told me I’d need full re constructive surgery – loose skin removed, both breasts reshaped (my smaller breast was tubular shaped whilst my bigger one rounded), I’d get implants to even out the asymmetrical difference and my nipples replacing. Going to see a surgeon and learning that I could have this issues fixed was appealing – it was like the answers to my prayers, however, no surgeon will operate on someone with bulimia and anorexia. I was also rejected by the monthly instalments of the £5,600 surgery as I didn’t have a credit rating to prove I could pay such repayments. The double news of rejection and feeling like the last surge of hope I had left to be taken away really difficult to cope with. I starved and starved myself to the point waking up was a struggle because I was so undernourished. I began applying to jobs as an escort in a desperate bid to get the funds together for the surgery on my breasts, I started drinking heavily and took drugs to block out the realisation that I was trapped like this forever.

I think my parents really realised at this time how much my life had been overruled by my breasts, eating disorder and lack of confidence. I cried most days after I found out I couldn’t get the surgery and I didn’t care what I did I just wanted to get money together. I worked two jobs and went to university whilst coping with the side effects of an eating disorder and one day I cracked. I broke down completely and hit the lowest I’d been.

My parents are absolutely incredible people who deserve awards for the amount of times they’ve helped me in to an ambulance, sat and told me until they are literally blue in the face that I did not have to treat myself the way I did and generally just parented me and let me cry on and with them. My parents arranged, in secret that they would fund my breast reconstruction surgery. I had no idea about this, it was February the 23rd 2012 and that morning my mum sat me down and begged me to eat a piece of toast. I always remember this day because for some reason I noticed, to be frank how awful I looked through the lack of food in my system. We had a small chat about me not eating and usual I shrugged her off and went to my bedroom to continue exercising. That evening, my best friend (of 16 years, who has supported me through all of this) was round to stay, we were all sat in my living room and my dad randomly announced he had the cash saved up ready to get my operation. The absolute shock of finding out that another human could be so generous, thoughtful and offer me this hope was overwhelming. I don’t think I have ever cried so much from happiness. The guilt of my parents paying for my operation was hard to accept and took a HELL of a lot of reassurance from them – they told me I deserved it and I began to believe that maybe I did.

My operation got booked for the 23rd of June that year on the condition that a doctor can sign me off as being healthy. I had no choice but to beat anorexia now, there was a life changing operation and my parents had went out of their way to raise the money for me. I owed it to them and I owed it to myself. A few weeks after booking my operation I went food shopping and devised a healthy eating plan, I knew I had to prepare myself for my recovery and I had to do it myself. I sat and ate my first full meal in years – 10 pieces of pasta, 5 cubes of chicken and half a pepper and I actually enjoyed it. The feeling of food in my stomach was really hard to get to grips with and the urge to just start throwing up was tempting but I resisted it. Everyday I ate one small meal and over the weeks I increased to 3 meals a day. I still exercised lightly but this time it was enjoyable, it wasn’t a chore. I went on bike rides with friends and did sit ups whilst singing along to music, I began to get a taste of great food and how to have fun with general exercise. I began going out for lunch with big groups of friends, I had people round for dinner and cooked for them, I even went on a few dates and ate in front of them. The massive ‘click’ that happened in my head the day I booked that operation gave me a date to work towards, something to focus on. As my weight increased and I had to throw away my small clothes, a part of me was still heartbroken that my love affair with food had ended. It was honestly like an abusive marriage break up. To live with something day in, day out and get treated so badly from it and wake up one day and throw it aside was awful. I longed to have bulimia and anorexia back sometimes but it’d click again that I had to move on and do what’s right for myself.

By May 2012, I had put on 2 stone and a natural size 12-14. Every woman in my family is at least a size 12, it seems it’s in the genes to have bigger hips and wider thighs and whilst I still had bad days of looking in the mirror and disliking the bigger woman that was in front of me, my confidence soared. My hair started to grow and was soft, my skin looked so clear and even, my fingers had cleared up, I’d lost a lot of body hair (which grew during my anorexia) and I received a lot of attention for my curvy frame.

I had my operation in Manchester and my surgeon was always honest with me. He told me my asymmetric breasts were the worst case he’d ever seen and was baffled as to why the NHS hadn’t agreed to fund my op. He told me there was no guarantee they would be 100% perfect but he would do everything he possibly could to ‘fix’ them. The staff at the hospital were incredible and supportive and deserve recognition for how helpful, genuine and lovely they all were to me. I woke up with asymmetrical breasts on June the 23rd and woke up again after the operation and looked down to see two massive jumps the same size. I was a bit out of it but just seeing my boobs in bandages was one of the best moments of my life.


Before surgery



Before surgery


After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

I recovered well from my operation, I continued to eat well which at times was a struggle as it was the first time I’d not been able to exercise as I was obviously restricted with my movement. My breasts looked fantastic – the surgeon had achieved more than what I or he had hoped for and my breasts looked completely perfect and natural. We had planned to aim to make my breasts a 34DD however when the measurements in came in after healing I was wearing a 32H or a 34G depending on which shop!

And that leads me to today. I’m still a size 12-14, I still eat healthy and I’m still in the process of replacing all of my old clothes to bigger ones that cater for my figure and of course, my breasts. I have never shared my story outside of my mum, dad, sister and three close friends. I decided to make it public as my struggles with weight, eating and my breasts has been a long journey. I have truly accepted myself and my body now. I feel by sharing my story I can celebrate all I have overcome and would like to think people who relate to similarities in this story can see that wonderful, positive things can happen. I deprived myself for so long of curves, health and happiness. My past has a lot of baggage but my future is so free from it now. I look forward to meeting a man who when he reminds me I’m beautiful, I can truly believe it. I’ll wear my dresses with pride knowing I can now appreciate what’s underneath the fabric. Every time I look in the mirror I vow to pick out the positives, because the hard work I did to get to this point, the support from family and friends and work of my surgeon needs celebrating and I am never wasting another second of my life worrying about calories, food and starving. I am just a very normal, average young woman but I hope now that people realise exterior is often very misleading and it was judgement that goes back almost 15 years that allowed me to think badly of myself. I think my eating disorder and surgery will come as a huge shock to those who know me but we need to be honest here, even such normal people as me struggle with such difficulties so I imagine it’s a lot more common than we think.

I am excited about my future and making the most out of my wardrobe, body, breasts and life through honour and honesty.





27 Sep

As I say in my blog tagline, I am “Forever battling with diets, huge bras and high street dresses.”
I’ve written a lot about the bras and the dresses over the past year, and today I want to talk about the diets. This will be one of very few posts on this subject, and it is by no means meant to be a lecture or me telling you that to be happy you have to lose weight or any bullcrap like that, it’s just a subject I have been asked to share my experiences on, and if that’s not for you then you may want to sit this post out.

As cliché as it sounds I’ve pretty much always been that bit larger. I was fairly average sized in primary school, despite my huge bum that seems to have been around forever. And then I hit 11 and I got bigger. I was told it was puppy fat but the puppy fat never left, not that I tried very hard. I was always active, at school, I played on the girl’s football team for a few years, I was sports captain in my first and final year – more due to no one else volunteering to be honest, but it did mean that I had to do all the sports I couldn’t find participants for! The boobs arrived when I was about 15 and by then I got bullied pretty badly for being ‘fat’.
As I have said in previous posts I struggled to fit in – in every way. I struggled to fit in with my ‘cool’ college peers as I struggled to fit into size 14 TopShop dresses. I felt like I freak and went through phases of starving myself and then binging, but they never lasted very long. I come from a food loving family and anyone would find it hard to resist Sunday dinner cooked by my grandparents, or one of my Mum’s famous desserts! So I joined the college gym, visting between classes and at the end of the college day. I definitely looked and felt better, but I was still far bigger than most! I never had a problem with making friends or finding boyfriends and so it didn’t plague me, but the comments I got would, and sometimes it got a little too much.

Fast forward a few years and I find myself in New Zealand. I remember going for a bungy jump (it’s not something I’m likely to ever forget!) and they wrote my weight in kilos on my hand. I knew it was a lot but it didn’t bother me – at that point in my life I felt amazing.

I was travelling on my own, I had been surfing, hiking, sky diving, white water rafting, to the outback – my weight and size did not impact any aspect of my life whatsoever! That number was a number far higher than the one Bridget Jones gets in a tizz about, but why should my weight define me? I understood the implications of being obese – how could I not, gossip magazines were everywhere. But I didn’t feel obese. I didn’t struggle to do anything. I led an active life – yes I drank a lot of alcohol and didn’t always make the best food choices, but my weight never held me back.

After I returned home I once again became a cliché. I got a longterm boyfriend and the short story is I gained weight, a fair bit! At first I didn’t notice as it crept on, but slowly I started to cover my arms more, my size 14 skinny jeans lay untouched in the wardrobe, I started to need bigger t shirts. And I realised I was becoming a danger to myself. I remember a trip to the doctors and she weighed me. I couldn’t bear to look at the number, so much higher than when I did my bungy jump. The doctor then informed me that if I allowed my weight to increase any more then I would be at risk of preventing the birth control pill from working. She was very unpleasant about the matter and I felt awful! Sometime later at work a woman said to me “You’re a lovely girl, with a beautiful face. So when are you going to do something about the weight?”

And so I decided that, once and for all I needed to lose weight. I toyed with the idea of a quick fix, one of those liquid diets where the weight falls of. But I abstained for two reasons: I would not be able to stick to that way of life, and I feared the loose skin I would be left with.

It’s been four months since I made the decision to lose weight. To be honest it’s actually closer to 13 years, but I’m not that good at diets! So far in the last four months I have lost just over a stone, which is pretty poor progress but better than gaining weight!
Going to the gym has definitely helped me. Firstly I was so relieved to find out that, despite being ‘morbidly obese’ I am in fact very healthy. I have no risk of diabetes, something that I was very worried about. My glucose and cholesterol levels are perfect (it took a mere 3 months to lower my cholesterol levels from being just a shade above healthy to being well in the zone) and my blood pressure and fitness levels are spot on. I just need to lose some weight as I am still at risk of problems developing. I worry that if I fell I would break my arm and if I passed out I’d need an army to get me up. I don’t feel happy in my underwear – posed photos on the blog are one thing but the reality is not quite so kind. I fit onto train and bus seats but I don’t ever want to be at a stage where I can’t. And whilst I respect that some people are bigger than me and happy, I would also like respect to be shown for my own decisions and feelings. It doesn’t matter how many people tell me ‘but you’re not fat’, ‘you’re beautiful’ or all the other standard replies, what I see when I look in the mirror upsets me and I want to change that.

And now onto the true purpose of this post!
I try to go to the gym 3 times a week for at least an hour. My membership means that the pool and all of the classes are included and I take full advantage of everything. The PT who assessed me initially advised that I do around 30 minutes of cardio every session and finish up by doing some squats with weights, as well as attending a few classes.
Generally I got to a class every week. I like the classes as they are fun, I have no way out and I know that I am actually working hard as the routines are put together by professionals. Of course there is a worry that with classes you can feel embarrassed or do things wrong and possibly not benefit from them, but you just have to keep alert, keep pushing yourself and don’t be afraid – I’ve yet to see anyone get booed or laughed out the door! Sometimes I am the most unfit one there, sometimes I do struggle to do everything that the others do but that’s ok, the gym is there for progression. As a bigger girl I do find the bouncing around that some classes require to be quite a strain. I feel like I’m wobbling around and my trousers are falling off and I’m making a noise! But no one is watching, no one cares and I still get a lot out of being there.
When I don’t have an evening free or fancy my own company I hit the main gym. I try to pick a sports bra that is suited to what I have planned, but as I often change what I want to do when I get there it makes little difference! My Shock Absorber is fab if I want to run and it is magnificent at keeping my boobs still – in fact the only thing that bounces is my bottom! My Freya Active and Elomi Energise are the best for medium level activities – the cross trainer and hill walking. And as my Panache sports bra is a bit big for me I keep it for those lazy days when I sit and cycle.
When I go to the gym I like to stick to a piece of cardio and stay on for 45 minutes; a goal that is more often missed than hit! I try to use one piece after if I have failed or if I still have energy. I don’t have a favourite piece as it changes every time – I used to be able to zone out on my iPod for 45 minutes whilst my body did the work on a cross trainer, the next week it was all about the bike. I’m not a creature of habit! When I do use the equipment I do have to have certain distractions and items with me. I like to always have water as I drink a lot of water as it is – years of spotty skin got flushed away once my water addiction started and you will rarely see me without a bottle of water when I am out and about. I also like to have a towel to mop up the inevitable pools of sweat and my iPod. If my machine has a tv attached (and to be honest, I tend to go for those machines!) I will either watch something that looks interesting or has subtitles, or plug my headphones into it. The hardest bit of a work out for me is the ‘zoning out’, checking my time or calorie intake or who’s walking behind me really drags the session out. I do check my display every so often to see if I can push myself a bit harder or if I have done a good workout, but generally I just try to get in the zone and push myself, not so much that I have to stop every thirty seconds, but enough that I am benefitting. The tvs with the bikes are the best as they stop working if you stop working! As I have a fitted gym kit, great trainers and fab well fitted sports bras my work out is never hindered by them – unless I am very energetic and sometimes my leggings fall down a bit and my top rides up. I also like to mix things up, so if I am on the bike then I will pedal faster, then slow it down and up the resistance. The programmes on the machines are fab as well: the hill function is the best as it helps you work hard and slow in equal measures. The best thing that I have found it the hardest – hill walking. I up the incline on the running machine and speed it up to the point where I am a little out of breath and off I go. It does seem silly to come to the gym just to walk, but it helps me see how far I have gone, how many calories I may have burnt and I feel motivated.

Once I am done with the cardio machines I always move onto the weights and some floor work. As most machines that I use are leg based I do try to do a few things to target my arms as well. The best thing you can do with weights is reps. Yes you may be able to bicep curl 40kgs, but doing it once is no good, doing 20kgs 15 times and then repeating it a few times is far better. Doing weights is a welcome break from the constant slog of the cardio machines which can make it seem easy when it is in fact still hard – this is why I choose to do it after my cardio work.
I also like to play with the gym balls! My one at home lies untouched, but in the gym I seem to concoct all manner of things to do with the ball! I like to lie with my legs over it in an ‘L’ shape and do sits ups. I also like to put it between my feet, lower them out straight so they almost touch the ground and then bring the up and pass the ball to my hands, then lie straight again, hands and feel almost touching the ground and repeat. You’d be surprised at how much that works your tummy! You can just play around with the ball and often you will find some exercise that helps, whether it’s lying down with it under your feet and slowly elevating and lowering your hips, or lying on top of it and rolling yourself backwards and forwards. For me the ball is great to help me work on reducing the number or tummies I presently have, but it can be used for anything. The balls are strong enough to take pretty much anyone’s weight and I would recommend buying one for your own home if you are unlike me and can easily motivate yourself.
Occasionally I do use the pool, but like I said I need distractions and a soggy iPod isn’t a great accessory to have! I think the pool will be something I use more as the weight drops so that I can tone and also feel less terrible as I walk past the giant glass window next to the main gym room, thighs wobbling and bingo wings swinging around!

As I have said, I like the gym as it motivates me. I feel lazy if I don’t go and like I’m wasting my money, the staff there know me and say hi and that makes me want to go back as it’s a nice environment, and also so they don’t think I am skiving! If you are someone who can and does work out at home then a gym ball is a must. I also quite like skipping ropes and hula hoops as the do a great deal and are great fun. If you have a garden then get a trampoline and a fab sports bra as you want to be the only thing bouncing around. I wish I was a person who could use when it around me to lose weight, but I have tried that route and until now nothing worked.

Of course weight loss is two fold – diet and exercise. The diet has been such a hard part for me. If you saw me eating you might wonder why – my meals are veggietastic, I don’t tend to fry things or have carbs and if I do I try to have beans. But it’s my snacking that I need to keep under control. I never know if I am hungry or bored but suddenly I’m a chocolate bar down and feeling guilty. The best thing for me would be to fill my house with healthy options and up my will power. It’s a slow struggle, but I am not as bad as I used to be. Like I said I drink a lot of water, and that can sometimes satisfy my cravings, real or habitual. The best thing to remember with diets is that you don’t need to be hungry or bored or deprive yourself. Yes you may crave a pizza, but if you eat some steamed veggies and grilled fish instead you will suddenly be full and no longer crave. You can snack – just in moderation, choose healthy snacks that fill you up and satisfy what it is you want. And if you have gone a week or two without chocolate and it’s keeping you awake at night then buy a small bar and savour it! Otherwise you will be miserable and be more likely to go back to eating how you may have been before. It shouldn’t be a diet, it should be a lifestyle change. And that is the part that is proving hard for me, but slowly I hope to get my bikini body.

I wish you luck if you are also trying to make a change to your size and shape. There should be no shame in being whatever size you desire as long as you are not impacting negatively on your own life – and only you and a health professional know whether that is the case. If you are wanting to make a change then good for you. You can either be miserable at missing out on the foods you love, or saddened at what you see in the mirror. It’s great to feel empowered as a bigger woman, to say that scales don’t measure happiness and size is just a label, but if that is something that gets you down then do what you can to be happy.


27 Jul

As I have said all along I am:

“Forever battling with diets, huge bras and high street dresses; I am here to share my experiences about living with and shopping for a fuller figure and bust.”

I have recently gone on a bit of a health kick and that has involved joining the gym again and making healthier choices when it comes to my food. I have lost almost a stone so far, although I swear the scales are lying as it is not evident to me!

As i have stated, I am not here to promote diets or weight loss – I just want to feel happy about myself again and I think that if it is within your ability you should make changes to make yourself happier. I will probably always be overweight and bigger, but I just want to compact myself a little and stop having to always wear cardigans out and about to hide my arms and bags that conceal my stomach and a fringe that covers my face.

I don’t want my size to control me.

By popular request on my Facebook group I will be writing a few infrequent blogs about my new lifestyle. I am not here to preach or make this a ‘diet blog’, I am just trying to cater to the needs and wants of my readers.

Recently I was offered the chance to try out Yoomoo. As I write a clothing and lingerie blog I was at first a bit hesitant. However, as I kept getting more and more comments and emails about my slowly shrinking figure, asking to know what I was doing or would recommend, and I decided to give it a go. As I have been trying to incorporate Sainsburys frozen yoghurt into my snacking habits instead of chocolate the idea of a low fat CHOCOLATE frozen yoghurt excited me greatly!

It took me a while to find a supermarket that had not sold out of all 5 flavours – a very good sign but not helpful for me!

The little tubs were around 89p each and contained an average of 150calories – pretty good for a dessert or snack that you can get two servings out of.

I also liked the fact that the natural yoghurts weren’t significantly lower in calories than the flavoured ones – so no guilt was felt when I tried a scoop of the chocolate DevilMoo!

The yoghurts felt slightly mousse like. They were full of flavour and definitely satisfied any sweet cravings. They would be great on top of a serving of fruit or maybe even with some sorbet.

My parents, who were my fellow testers, both enjoyed their tubs and felt like they had the best flavour – chocolate for my Dad and berry for my Mum. They said it was not something they would buy as they never really eat ice creams or yoghurts, but that they were great value for money and very tasty.

As for me – I will definitely buying Yoomoo again. I like that they are significantly cheaper than your average crazy ice cream tubs, they are fun, tasty, low caloried and will slot easily into my healthy eating. I would love to see a few more flavours and maybe some chunks of frozen fruit and nuts in them, and maybe even a Yoomoo ice lolly. But all in good time!