27 Sep

As I say in my blog tagline, I am “Forever battling with diets, huge bras and high street dresses.”
I’ve written a lot about the bras and the dresses over the past year, and today I want to talk about the diets. This will be one of very few posts on this subject, and it is by no means meant to be a lecture or me telling you that to be happy you have to lose weight or any bullcrap like that, it’s just a subject I have been asked to share my experiences on, and if that’s not for you then you may want to sit this post out.

As cliché as it sounds I’ve pretty much always been that bit larger. I was fairly average sized in primary school, despite my huge bum that seems to have been around forever. And then I hit 11 and I got bigger. I was told it was puppy fat but the puppy fat never left, not that I tried very hard. I was always active, at school, I played on the girl’s football team for a few years, I was sports captain in my first and final year – more due to no one else volunteering to be honest, but it did mean that I had to do all the sports I couldn’t find participants for! The boobs arrived when I was about 15 and by then I got bullied pretty badly for being ‘fat’.
As I have said in previous posts I struggled to fit in – in every way. I struggled to fit in with my ‘cool’ college peers as I struggled to fit into size 14 TopShop dresses. I felt like I freak and went through phases of starving myself and then binging, but they never lasted very long. I come from a food loving family and anyone would find it hard to resist Sunday dinner cooked by my grandparents, or one of my Mum’s famous desserts! So I joined the college gym, visting between classes and at the end of the college day. I definitely looked and felt better, but I was still far bigger than most! I never had a problem with making friends or finding boyfriends and so it didn’t plague me, but the comments I got would, and sometimes it got a little too much.

Fast forward a few years and I find myself in New Zealand. I remember going for a bungy jump (it’s not something I’m likely to ever forget!) and they wrote my weight in kilos on my hand. I knew it was a lot but it didn’t bother me – at that point in my life I felt amazing.

I was travelling on my own, I had been surfing, hiking, sky diving, white water rafting, to the outback – my weight and size did not impact any aspect of my life whatsoever! That number was a number far higher than the one Bridget Jones gets in a tizz about, but why should my weight define me? I understood the implications of being obese – how could I not, gossip magazines were everywhere. But I didn’t feel obese. I didn’t struggle to do anything. I led an active life – yes I drank a lot of alcohol and didn’t always make the best food choices, but my weight never held me back.

After I returned home I once again became a cliché. I got a longterm boyfriend and the short story is I gained weight, a fair bit! At first I didn’t notice as it crept on, but slowly I started to cover my arms more, my size 14 skinny jeans lay untouched in the wardrobe, I started to need bigger t shirts. And I realised I was becoming a danger to myself. I remember a trip to the doctors and she weighed me. I couldn’t bear to look at the number, so much higher than when I did my bungy jump. The doctor then informed me that if I allowed my weight to increase any more then I would be at risk of preventing the birth control pill from working. She was very unpleasant about the matter and I felt awful! Sometime later at work a woman said to me “You’re a lovely girl, with a beautiful face. So when are you going to do something about the weight?”

And so I decided that, once and for all I needed to lose weight. I toyed with the idea of a quick fix, one of those liquid diets where the weight falls of. But I abstained for two reasons: I would not be able to stick to that way of life, and I feared the loose skin I would be left with.

It’s been four months since I made the decision to lose weight. To be honest it’s actually closer to 13 years, but I’m not that good at diets! So far in the last four months I have lost just over a stone, which is pretty poor progress but better than gaining weight!
Going to the gym has definitely helped me. Firstly I was so relieved to find out that, despite being ‘morbidly obese’ I am in fact very healthy. I have no risk of diabetes, something that I was very worried about. My glucose and cholesterol levels are perfect (it took a mere 3 months to lower my cholesterol levels from being just a shade above healthy to being well in the zone) and my blood pressure and fitness levels are spot on. I just need to lose some weight as I am still at risk of problems developing. I worry that if I fell I would break my arm and if I passed out I’d need an army to get me up. I don’t feel happy in my underwear – posed photos on the blog are one thing but the reality is not quite so kind. I fit onto train and bus seats but I don’t ever want to be at a stage where I can’t. And whilst I respect that some people are bigger than me and happy, I would also like respect to be shown for my own decisions and feelings. It doesn’t matter how many people tell me ‘but you’re not fat’, ‘you’re beautiful’ or all the other standard replies, what I see when I look in the mirror upsets me and I want to change that.

And now onto the true purpose of this post!
I try to go to the gym 3 times a week for at least an hour. My membership means that the pool and all of the classes are included and I take full advantage of everything. The PT who assessed me initially advised that I do around 30 minutes of cardio every session and finish up by doing some squats with weights, as well as attending a few classes.
Generally I got to a class every week. I like the classes as they are fun, I have no way out and I know that I am actually working hard as the routines are put together by professionals. Of course there is a worry that with classes you can feel embarrassed or do things wrong and possibly not benefit from them, but you just have to keep alert, keep pushing yourself and don’t be afraid – I’ve yet to see anyone get booed or laughed out the door! Sometimes I am the most unfit one there, sometimes I do struggle to do everything that the others do but that’s ok, the gym is there for progression. As a bigger girl I do find the bouncing around that some classes require to be quite a strain. I feel like I’m wobbling around and my trousers are falling off and I’m making a noise! But no one is watching, no one cares and I still get a lot out of being there.
When I don’t have an evening free or fancy my own company I hit the main gym. I try to pick a sports bra that is suited to what I have planned, but as I often change what I want to do when I get there it makes little difference! My Shock Absorber is fab if I want to run and it is magnificent at keeping my boobs still – in fact the only thing that bounces is my bottom! My Freya Active and Elomi Energise are the best for medium level activities – the cross trainer and hill walking. And as my Panache sports bra is a bit big for me I keep it for those lazy days when I sit and cycle.
When I go to the gym I like to stick to a piece of cardio and stay on for 45 minutes; a goal that is more often missed than hit! I try to use one piece after if I have failed or if I still have energy. I don’t have a favourite piece as it changes every time – I used to be able to zone out on my iPod for 45 minutes whilst my body did the work on a cross trainer, the next week it was all about the bike. I’m not a creature of habit! When I do use the equipment I do have to have certain distractions and items with me. I like to always have water as I drink a lot of water as it is – years of spotty skin got flushed away once my water addiction started and you will rarely see me without a bottle of water when I am out and about. I also like to have a towel to mop up the inevitable pools of sweat and my iPod. If my machine has a tv attached (and to be honest, I tend to go for those machines!) I will either watch something that looks interesting or has subtitles, or plug my headphones into it. The hardest bit of a work out for me is the ‘zoning out’, checking my time or calorie intake or who’s walking behind me really drags the session out. I do check my display every so often to see if I can push myself a bit harder or if I have done a good workout, but generally I just try to get in the zone and push myself, not so much that I have to stop every thirty seconds, but enough that I am benefitting. The tvs with the bikes are the best as they stop working if you stop working! As I have a fitted gym kit, great trainers and fab well fitted sports bras my work out is never hindered by them – unless I am very energetic and sometimes my leggings fall down a bit and my top rides up. I also like to mix things up, so if I am on the bike then I will pedal faster, then slow it down and up the resistance. The programmes on the machines are fab as well: the hill function is the best as it helps you work hard and slow in equal measures. The best thing that I have found it the hardest – hill walking. I up the incline on the running machine and speed it up to the point where I am a little out of breath and off I go. It does seem silly to come to the gym just to walk, but it helps me see how far I have gone, how many calories I may have burnt and I feel motivated.

Once I am done with the cardio machines I always move onto the weights and some floor work. As most machines that I use are leg based I do try to do a few things to target my arms as well. The best thing you can do with weights is reps. Yes you may be able to bicep curl 40kgs, but doing it once is no good, doing 20kgs 15 times and then repeating it a few times is far better. Doing weights is a welcome break from the constant slog of the cardio machines which can make it seem easy when it is in fact still hard – this is why I choose to do it after my cardio work.
I also like to play with the gym balls! My one at home lies untouched, but in the gym I seem to concoct all manner of things to do with the ball! I like to lie with my legs over it in an ‘L’ shape and do sits ups. I also like to put it between my feet, lower them out straight so they almost touch the ground and then bring the up and pass the ball to my hands, then lie straight again, hands and feel almost touching the ground and repeat. You’d be surprised at how much that works your tummy! You can just play around with the ball and often you will find some exercise that helps, whether it’s lying down with it under your feet and slowly elevating and lowering your hips, or lying on top of it and rolling yourself backwards and forwards. For me the ball is great to help me work on reducing the number or tummies I presently have, but it can be used for anything. The balls are strong enough to take pretty much anyone’s weight and I would recommend buying one for your own home if you are unlike me and can easily motivate yourself.
Occasionally I do use the pool, but like I said I need distractions and a soggy iPod isn’t a great accessory to have! I think the pool will be something I use more as the weight drops so that I can tone and also feel less terrible as I walk past the giant glass window next to the main gym room, thighs wobbling and bingo wings swinging around!

As I have said, I like the gym as it motivates me. I feel lazy if I don’t go and like I’m wasting my money, the staff there know me and say hi and that makes me want to go back as it’s a nice environment, and also so they don’t think I am skiving! If you are someone who can and does work out at home then a gym ball is a must. I also quite like skipping ropes and hula hoops as the do a great deal and are great fun. If you have a garden then get a trampoline and a fab sports bra as you want to be the only thing bouncing around. I wish I was a person who could use when it around me to lose weight, but I have tried that route and until now nothing worked.

Of course weight loss is two fold – diet and exercise. The diet has been such a hard part for me. If you saw me eating you might wonder why – my meals are veggietastic, I don’t tend to fry things or have carbs and if I do I try to have beans. But it’s my snacking that I need to keep under control. I never know if I am hungry or bored but suddenly I’m a chocolate bar down and feeling guilty. The best thing for me would be to fill my house with healthy options and up my will power. It’s a slow struggle, but I am not as bad as I used to be. Like I said I drink a lot of water, and that can sometimes satisfy my cravings, real or habitual. The best thing to remember with diets is that you don’t need to be hungry or bored or deprive yourself. Yes you may crave a pizza, but if you eat some steamed veggies and grilled fish instead you will suddenly be full and no longer crave. You can snack – just in moderation, choose healthy snacks that fill you up and satisfy what it is you want. And if you have gone a week or two without chocolate and it’s keeping you awake at night then buy a small bar and savour it! Otherwise you will be miserable and be more likely to go back to eating how you may have been before. It shouldn’t be a diet, it should be a lifestyle change. And that is the part that is proving hard for me, but slowly I hope to get my bikini body.

I wish you luck if you are also trying to make a change to your size and shape. There should be no shame in being whatever size you desire as long as you are not impacting negatively on your own life – and only you and a health professional know whether that is the case. If you are wanting to make a change then good for you. You can either be miserable at missing out on the foods you love, or saddened at what you see in the mirror. It’s great to feel empowered as a bigger woman, to say that scales don’t measure happiness and size is just a label, but if that is something that gets you down then do what you can to be happy.

27 Responses to “HEALTHY LIVING: The Ups And Downs”

  1. Jen September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love your outlook & honesty, your blog is always a pleasure to read. Everyone I think struggles with diet and exercise regardless of their intial starting weight. Being lighter in weight isnt necessarily an indicator of good health as your blood pressure, cholesterol & fitness indicates.
    I personally have had a summer hiatus from the gym and people have started to comment that I have ‘lost weight’ or look ‘smaller’. I have to say I am quite peeved about the intended compliments, the reason I look slimmer is because I lack muscle mass! It certainly spurred me to get back to the gym and start looking bigger again 🙂

  2. chelsa September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I really enjoyed this post, thanks for giving a peek into an extremely personal aspect of your life.
    I was 260 lbs four years ago. Three months after I had my third child I decided I needed a huge change. I started dieting, after 45 lbs were gone I added exercise. Over two years I lost a total of 100lbs. I became a triathlete, and ran four or five races a year.
    About 8 months ago we moved and I no longer had access to my gym or friends. I gained 30lbs. The thing that changed the most, though? My boobs! When I got to my lowest I was in a C cup. (I’m sure the size was wrong) When I started gaining weight I had to pull out my old DD bras. Then I recently used your measuring technique and discovered I was a 36G.
    Now, I’m struggling. I’m back on the ‘diet’ wagon and I’m about to purchase a road bike (until I moved I was using a friend’s). The thing is, over the course of this weight gain, I’ve started really loving my body again. At my thinnest, I hated myself. Now I feel beautiful, most of the time. I’m getting a tummy tuck in March, to get rid of the skin from babies and weight loss. I was going to lose that thirty lbs before I did the surgery, but I don’t want my boobs to go, and I like my butt.
    I also had tests done recently and my doctor said I was one of the healthiest patients she had, and didn’t even mention needing to lose weight.
    Sorry this got so long, I just feel like I’m at a crossroads. Do I get skinny, because I like to look like everyone else. Or do I stay curvy, and risk still having those ‘I hate my body’ days.
    I know this is a question only I can answer, I guess I just wanted to know if you had any of these feelings?
    Congratulations on your weight loss and healthy lifestyle changes. You’re gorgeous and talented. Always remind yourself. Don’t think about flabby thighs or wobbly arms. Think about what those arms do for you, where those legs have taken you. Your body is an astonishing thing. It should be praised 🙂

    • chelsa September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Also, I should mention I’m 5’11”. So 170 is thin for me, especially since I have crazy broad shoulders.

  3. astrid September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    You DO look beautiful and you are awsome for taking step to love what you see in the mirror! I love your honesty and your positive attitude. Keep up the good work!

  4. astrid September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Doh! I meant “awesome for taking steps”

  5. Mikela Rasted September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I know how it is, I lost 17 kg in the last 14 weeks. Sometimes I still like to eat cake or Icecream, and its hard. I try to go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week.Mostly I walk and recently I began to run 1 or 2 minutes, then walk maybe 10 minutes and then rum 1 minute…

  6. Erica of A Sophisticated Pair September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for sharing this, George. It took me about 15 months to lose sixty pounds, so I can appreciate slow progress. However, because I started making lasting changes, I kept the weight off instead of continuing the up/down cycle. The same will be true for you. 🙂

    I had something similar happen in a doctor’s office as well. My doctor and the nurses said “You have a pretty face. Let’s work on the weight.” When I did start losing it, they fawned over it and said “You were a pretty girl before, but now you’re beautiful.” I know they meant well, but I think it’s comments like that, if you’re not careful, which can send women into an eating disorder. Even now, it’s difficult to remind myself that weight loss doesn’t always equate with more beauty. Those comments can leave lasting impressions on women, which is why I’m glad so many people are moving toward acceptance and positive body image.

    • Lynn October 2, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I agree. It was comments like that that gave me an eating disorder. Sadly, diets are gateway drugs to eating disorder.

      Georgia – I think those “You have such a pretty face” comments are horrible, not helpful. It assumes that weight is completely under the individual’s control and science shows that it is not soley controlled like that.

  7. elizabeth September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I know i probably just shouldn’t have read this post but I did and it makes me so sad. You are beautiful and healthy, your size has not affected your ability to live your life. I know that other people being assholes is hurtful and I understand wanting to silence their remarks but I wish that you could see that they are wrong. How horrible to tell you that only your face is beautiful, that you should lose weight to make them more comfortable.

    There have been so many studies that show obesity is NOT a factor in overall health. The studies that show otherwise are often paid for by diet companies and do not include any scientific rationale. I’m going to list some links to some scientific studies, you don’t have to read them. Ultimately it is up to you how you feel in your body and how you treat it. No matter what you are beautiful and your choices are your own.

    Click to access 1475-2891-9-30.pdf

    • fullerfigurefullerbust September 28, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Thank you for being so sweet.
      I don’t want to silence anyone or prove them wrong, I want to be happy x

      • elizabeth September 28, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I am glad to hear it and I apologize for making assumptions. Be happy however you want to be ❤

  8. Mary September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for writing something so personal. I think it’s wonderful that you are doing something you want to do and it sounds like you feel good about it. In my opinion loosing a stone in four months is not “poor progress” at all – I think that weight loss is best when it’s a long term goal for better overall health and gradual change is best in the long term (like you said in your post, a quick fix is not necessarily desirable). Having said that, your progress is your business not mine! So I should really shut up……
    I’ve gone up two dress sizes in the last few years (and I’m tiny – only 5 ft – so it’s quite a lot on my frame). I actually really like the way I look now, all sort of soft and curvy, I feel like it suits my personality more (does that sound weird?) but lately I’ve started to feel too heavy, like it’s more effort to move around and I’m less agile. So in some ways I’d like to loose weight and get fitter but I haven’t committed myself yet. My problem is comfort eating so I keep telling myself I can’t commit to loosing weight until I have fewer reasons to comfort eat (which will probably be never….).

  9. Rebecca September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Can I ask what gym you go to? And I am in a similar position to you, maybe a little less fit, and its great to have motivation in the form of this blog post. Its inspirational to hear your true thoughts on everything, the way you get distracted and so on. A breath of fresh air!!
    Rebecca. x

  10. monika September 28, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Gorgina thank You for such detailed war description, it gives me energy to move my own bum from sofa, many to heavy after 6 years living in France.
    Oh this French dinners!
    Goodbye foie gras!
    Farewell wine my love!
    Rest in peace my dearly cheese!

    Be welcome bike

  11. Laura September 28, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Really enjoyed reading this, saved the cravings list and will definitely use it! Hope I can get as motivated as you, I’m going to buy a shock absorber now ready for the gym! X

  12. Stacy September 28, 2012 at 12.53 #

    My husband and I have started on the weight loss journey (again!) as well. 12 pounds down in about 5 weeks so far. Slow, but it’s going down. It’s definitely for me. Partly this is my hatred of the belly pouch I have after the birth of my daughter. partly it’s having a great deal of trouble finding clothes that fit as I’m in that nowhere zone of between the regular and plus sizes, where nothing fits. And I want to no longer have people ask me if I’m pregnant because my belly is big (nowadays I’m a smaller band size than my stomach.)

    Losing weight isn’t successful unless you’re doing it for YOU.

    I do envy your gorgeous curves and flat stomach though! You look fantastic, and i’m sure you’ll continue to do so as you progress.

  13. Marie September 29, 2012 at 12.53 #

    First, I love your blog! This post hit home for me. I have always struggled with my weight. I go to the gym and eat healthy, yet it is difficult to keep weight off. I remember people commenting openly on my weight when I was younger, telling me I would be hotter if I were thinner. I lost 30 pounds years ago when my husband was deployed and I found myself having to do home renovations by myself. I remember everyone kept telling me I looked awesome, although I felt miserable on the inside. I gained a little back when I was working longer hours. It was a happy time for me, finally getting recognition for my efforts, and not one person commented on any of that. It was a strange realization, that people would always notice my appearance, but never my professional accomplishments or anything else that mattered to me.

  14. me October 1, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Girl, you are so refreshing and such a pleasure to ‘listen’ to!! I think losing a stone in over the course of 4 months is fantastic. I think it shows that you truly understand that being fit is a permanent change in lifestyle and that it truly is ok to savour a chocolate bar every so often!

    I am about 10 – 15 lbs away from where I want to be and instead of hoping on the spin bike I decided to sit on my bum and surf the internet. Thankfully I surfed onto your site and now I am off to have a workout before the baby wakes up! Haha! Thanks so much and good luck with your journey to bikini body! Love love love love your blog! I think you should write a post on how to look good in everything you put on because it seems like you’ve nailed that one!

  15. Lila October 3, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this entry. I recently started a subscription to your blog because I think you have wonderful taste and great sense of style (truly truly wonderful given the limited selection available for big girls), but I wasn’t expecting such an intimate, revealing entry (with no lingerie). Thank you. I would love to hear more about your journey if you’re willing to share. Thank you for being such an inspiration – both spiritually and fashion-wise.

  16. Mrs B October 4, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for sharing this. Just like you I am also on a slow mission to get healthier and stronger. I have actually been at it for some time, but I find it difficult to open up about it, in fact my husband is the only one who knows about my workouts and diet changes – and the people I meet at the gym of course. After about a year I’ve not yet had the courage to tell my friends or family. Sounds stupid, but I am too scared of any reactions. I know they mean well, but I still don’t know how to deal with people waiting for me to ”lose the baby weight” and ”get back in shape” while I am trying to accept my new body. I do not want to go back to the crash-diets and body hatred of my adolescence…The good news is that after a rough start I really enjoy exercising now. The changes are slow, but constant. I feel stronger and healther and have more energy and less aches and pains. I try to see it as a long-term project, prefer to make small lifestyle changes that I can keep up than radical changes, even though that maybe would get me faster results. I try to think of it as ”caring for my curves” rather than fighting my body shape, and try not to fall into negativity and self hatred too much, because ”you cannot care for what you do not love”, right?

    Anyway, good luck with caring for your curves. Oh, and in some of your posts you mention that you don’t like your arms. I must say that they look like cute, normal arms on a beautiful girl to me…but what do I know. If you want to show them some extra love I really recommend the arm exercises in the Tracy Anderson DVDs. It doesn’t look like it would work – you basically wave your arms about a bit – but I really like the results. I was especially self-conscious about my arms after my pregnancies, they felt wobbly and spongey and..ugh. Now my arms feel much firmer and I like them more(even though I don’t know if anyone else would know the difference). I think you can find some of the exercises on Youtube etc., I picked up an old ”mat workout” DVD in some online sale.

  17. pa::du October 4, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I have to bow and thank you. For all happy and smiling faces you give me. For freedom and honesty you share through your posts. For not giving up. You won my heart with that note.

  18. Mari October 17, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Hi, i tend to read your blog, but i’ve never actually commented until now.
    For you to be telling your story when it comes to work outs and weight loss, is inspiring. I’m currently trying to get back into shape since i’ve let myself ‘fall apart’ the last year.
    I noticed you were talking about chocolate and cravings. A friend of mine is a big chocolate muncher, and she started to try out RAW-chocolate instead, which is healthier – and you can make it yourself 🙂
    Pilates is also a nice thing to tone arms etc, i’ve tried it, and you can see results fast, and you become so much more flexible, that it’s fun, and it’s relaxing as well.
    My problem when it comes to work out is the same as you with diets. I don’t do well at continuing with it when i first start, but this time i’m going to(at least try) to stick with it. So you’re not at all alone when it comes to ups and downs.

    I wish you the best of luck with your journey and you are truly an inspiration!!


  19. Alex November 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’m in full agreement that when you’re kitted out to the teeth in the good stuff that you perform better. if it wasn’t for compression pants my arse jiggle would put me off running for life!

    The ‘cravins table’ is a really useful tool to publish, thanks for sharing it.

  20. Gemma Cartwright (@GemmaCartwright) December 14, 2012 at 12.53 #

    The episode with the doctor making comments about how your weight was going to affect the efficacy of the pill – the same thing happened to me and was one of the main reasons I decided I should pay more attention to what my body was telling me and start being healthier and more active.

    I cannot tell you how wonderful it felt to go back two years later and have the doctor look at me and just say “I don’t need to weight you.” (Especially as I was still technically ‘overweight’ by the BMI scale, if only by about 3lbs – ha!). It’s not about being thin, just about being in control of my body and stopping other people from feeling like they can comment on it. I’ve managed to maintain this just-about-healthy weight for years now, which makes me believe this is the size I am meant to be. I’m aware of what I’m eating and what exercise I’m doing, I try to practice moderation, but it’s not a daily slog and I can have treats. I don’t despise my body, and I know with a bit of hard work I can lose the odd pound or two I put on here and there…but my weight doesn’t define me any more.

    On a side note, I wish we lived closer so we could be gym buddies. I LOVE that feeling after a good workout but I have such a problem finding the motivation to actually go, and I’m wasting so much money. New Year, new me, though, right? *kicks self up bum*

  21. Elle January 21, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Thanks for writing this – I’ve been working hard at the gym for 3 months and only shifted 3kgs (about 6 lbs). It was getting me down – but this made me realise maybe I need to start working a bit harder and looking at my eating habits too.

    I also completely understand about the “pretty face, shame about your weight thing” – I’ve had that from doctors before – and even my mum when I was growing up. I think that’s who it hurt the most from. In university I got stuck living with this awful girl who was unpleasant to everyone, including myself. My Mum at one point suggested this girl didn’t like me because of my weight, and maybe if I slimmed down we’d get along. That was a low point – I couldn’t understand her even thinking that way – and she is my mum!

    It’s bizarre how much emphasis we put on body shape, and reading this, it was nice knowing that other women have had similar experiences. It doesn’t matter how many times you get called pretty – it means nothing if it’s followed with “but imagine how beautiful you’d be if you lost weight”.

    If I’m honest, I’m happy with my body shape. But I’m not happy with how other people treat me because of it. I’m a size 16/18 and I think people think my weight is an excuse to treat me with less respect sometimes, it saddens me.

    I’m not loosing weight because I think I’ll look better, I’m loosing it because it’d be nice to blend in for once, and be judged on who I am rather than my weight or dress size. Maybe that’s not a great reason, but it’s the sorry state things have gotten to. I hope I never judge people the way people judge me at times.

  22. Carolyn February 27, 2013 at 12.53 #

    I love that comment, “caring for your curves,” rather than being at war with your body! I’ll try to remember that.

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