Archive | Hot Topics RSS feed for this section

Being Fat.

30 Jul

I apologise in advance for what is going to be a very selfish post all about…me. My life, my experiences and my views.

I’ve been bigger for most of my life.  Not as large as I am now, but compared to my peers I was a heavyweight.  I must have been, or else why would they and my family have constantly found new and interesting ways to bring it to my attention? ‘Heffalumpa’, ‘tree trunk thighs’, ‘Georgie Podgy’ and all manner of other creative terms were flung my way throughout my teenage years.  I sometimes wonder whether I would have loathed my body had no one brought my larger frame to my attention on an almost daily basis, or whether I would have still compared my shape and size to those around me and despaired at it’s apparent heftyness.

3 1 2These days I have a healthier approach to my body.  Just because I am a larger lady, it doesn’t mean that that is all I am.  I am Georgina.  I am someone’s best friend. I am someone’s girlfriend.  I am a blogger.  I work in marketing.  I have done the odd bit of modelling. I have fat on my body, but I am not fat – a mere lump of the stuff. And so what if I do have a bit of chub? What has my extra wibble stopped me doing? I’ve travelled, bungee jumped, sky dived, danced all night long. I’ve gone swimming in rivers, pools, streams and oceans. I’ve been flirted with, hit on and chatted up enough for me to safely conclude that I am not just an undesirable blubbery mess with no other attributes. I go running sporadically, I can climb several flights of stairs without collapsing and although I could be fitter, I’ve never felt hindered by my physical abilities. I fit comfortably into bus, train, plane and rollercoaster seats, and I’ve never capsized a boat. I have never experiences any ailments or illnesses due to my size. Diabetes? No, I am not a silly nonsensical cliché. Raised blood pressure? Only when people push onto a tube that I am getting off (you think they would see me…) Cholesterol problems? Give me a break! I could go on and on with a smug self important things that I have achieved DESPITE my weight and a list of problems that do not go hand in hand with squishy frame, but I think you all get the picture!

There are only ever two occasions that my lardy body gets my down. The first is when I catch a glimpse of myself in photos not looking my best. I am generally happy with my appearance, but when someone with a camera catches me off guard the end result can be monstrous. I do accept that they are capturing me as I look at that time, but I still get hung up and ‘detag’ myself in photos! Likewise, when I sometimes look in the mirror in something that doesn’t suit me or is too small for me, I feel horrid. I feel ashamed. However, would I still feel that way if I were smaller, but just about other parts of my body rather than my fat? And would I still feel that way if I didn’t live in a country that is obsessed with diets and cellulite and the idea that the only way to be perfect and happy is to be slim? Who can say.
The other thing that gets me down is… other people’s reactions to my size. Because as much as I want to make friends with the word ‘fat’, being branded a ‘fat lazy slag’ or any other random throwing together of seemingly negative words DOES hurt – how can it not? Sometimes I dwell on that hurt for days, sometimes I laugh it off within seconds, but it does make a mark on me and make me mentally regret every bite of chocolate and drunken burger I ever scoffed down. I curse myself for allowing my body to take on this vast form and I wonder how anyone could have ever liked me, loved me, seen me naked and felt anything other than nausea.

However, I do bounce back, more determined than ever to carry on with my life, doing all of the things that most other people do, unhindered by my size. I would like to shed some flab, as I do think that I would feel a little more content with some weight off. But my life will not stop until that point, and nor will the opportunities and amazing experiences that I have had and will encounter. I am not my weight. I am not simply ‘fat’ and every negative connotation that goes with that word. I am so much more than that, just like every other person out there who constantly gets reduced to being nothing more than a body size.

‘Being fat’. It’s not a disability, or the worst thing someone can be. It’s not an adequate singular way to describe a person. It’s not a term for a life half lived. It doesn’t call for the faux concern brigade to start firing out phrases like, “I just worry about how their weight will impact their lives in the future.” It’s just the way some people are.

Get over it.

Women Are Back

22 Jul

If you have been following my social streams as of late you will have seen me gushing on and on and on and on and ON about the fact that I was in Milan! I was flown there by Marina Rinaldi, as myself and eleven other girls were due to spend four days together working on an exciting project – more will be revealed in a few months!  All I can say is that I ate gelato, met some babes, tried on some amazing clothes and had my hair and make up done every day.  It was like a dream!

It was amazing to meet some of my blogging idols, and I absolutely adore every woman I had the pleasure of spending time with over those four perfect days.

I’d love to introduce you to these women if I may, I will go from left to right.

Katya Zharkova. What can I say about this girl!? I’ve wanted to meet her ever since I saw the spread she did for Plus Model Magazine.
She looked so fun and so beautiful, and meeting her proved that she was that and then some! She has fought and fought and fought to become a plus size model for so many years, and she has such a great attitude towards body image and body confidence, and I felt truly inspired to be around her. Plus she was a dream to watch in action on one of her shoots and I can’t wait to meet her again.

Tanesha Awasthi aka Girl With Curves. 532627_436939976340555_1100787605_n

Wow is all I can say. What a beautiful graceful woman she was! She had the ability to make everything she wore look sublime, and was always so composed and perfect looking!

Melike Çarpatan was a complete darling. melike_7e2b8dff-f59a-4f8e-9943-3a268946816d_10

She brought everyone good luck bracelets from Turkey and looked amazing in her sophisticated outfit choices.

Ditte Vallø – my booby twin! SAM0699-1024x682 A mother of three who looked too young to even have one! Ditte was so funny and amazing to be around, a really positive effervescent woman.

Roberta Scagnolari was wearing a Marina Rinaldi dress when we met, and seeing how good her busty petite curvy frame suited the garment made me even more excited for the following when when I got to try on everything and anything! RobertaScagnolariThis buxom beauty had a knowledge of make up that blew me away!

Iris Tinunin – I love this girl! 251826_10150982223282919_22752224_nShe was so fiery and fun, a pocket sized Italian beauty.

Gabi Gregg. portraitWhat plus size blogger doesn’t want to meet this voluptuous legend!? Gabi was so down to earth and fun to be around – and the fact that she is my body shape twin didn’t hurt either!

Shila Kreuzer was an complete babe. 541302_4140050291906_459295290_nShe wore the best accessories and had the most beautiful lips.

Stéphanie Zwicky – wow! fashion,cream,lacy,pink-686ebfa721fdf71f5ffcf47c77153e86_h

I have to say she was a little intimidating at first, but I soon got to know her and discovered a very sweet warm loving woman. My favourite moment from the trip happened when a little old lady in the Marina Rinaldi store asked me what us girls were doing in the store. She mentioned that she read a blog by a French lady called Stéphanie, and I excitedly told her she was in the store! Stéphanie could not believe that this lady in Italy read her blog, and moments after meeting her she burst into emotional tears. ‘This is why I do it. This is why I blog. I get told I’m fat, too fat to wear nice things. But I don’t care. I blog for women like her.’ – I think we all started crying at this, and Iris summed it up with ‘Your emotion; it’s beautiful.’ Stéphanie recently launched her new collection, and she looked amazing wearing a few of the items from it when in Milan.

Marie Denee – it was so good to see her again! tumblr_mo6o7r5Acl1qe2ex9o1_500Marie and I first met when we worked together on the Evans campaign, and I was so glad to see her name amongst the others, as I was a little dubious about meeting so many new people. She was as fun and beautiful and sassy as ever, and seeing her work it for the camera was something really special!

Edith Dohmen – the girl with the lost luggage! LOOK2311I felt so sorry for Edith, turning up to Milan to find her bags a few hours behind her! Luckily it arrived, and so did she looking as beautiful as she does on her blog. I really enjoyed her attitude and outlook on the plus size world. She is more of an ‘inbetweeny’ at her size, something that she covers a lot on her amazing blog, and with her amazing brand of clothing.

So there you have it! The eleven women I spent time with last week! The Marina Rinaldi gang were also a dream to be around, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Milan, exhausting as it was! I ate great food, had my photo taken by Riccardo Vimercati and Max Cardelli. These photos and accompanying interviews will be appearing on huge posters and in magazine in a few short months, something that I’m even more excited about!  And best of all I finally got to try some beautiful Marina Rinaldi clothes – the links and reviews of which I will also post in a few months. I caught myself crying several times during the trip, and on the way home. I feel so lucky to have been given such a wonderful opportunity with some truly fabulous women, and although I can’t reveal everything about the trip just yet, I can share a few photos with you. Enjoy!





























The Bra Fitter Is Not Always Right

13 Jul

When we visit places like airports, restaurants and shops we tend to assume that the people that work in those places know their trade. We trust what they say, as surely they, as professionals know what they are talking about. I believe that this is why so many women wear the wrong size bra – a lack of knowledge from some individuals whose job it is to help women build the foundation of their outfits.

This is not meant to be a snobbish know-it-all jibe, and I do not profess to be superior to anyone who works as a bra fitter. But ten years of owning tits, seven of which were spent oozing out of cups and yanking on my back band has made me realise that the lingerie world still has a long way to go before everyone is up to speed.

Don’t ever be scared to go for a bra fitting. Don’t think for one second that your body is not worthy of being seen in a state of undress by a stranger. That your boobs are too big/small/saggy/uneven and therefore something that the fitter hasn’t seen before. Bra fitter are like doctors – they see so many bodies, and their focus is not on how the body looks as a whole, but more on how the specific part they are dealing with needs their assistance. If a bra fitter ever makes you feel anything less than comfortable and at ease then it is NOT your fault or problem, and you should report them to their company as they are not fit to deal with something so sensitive and personal as bra fitting. You are in a vulnerable situation and they need to act professionally and respectfully.

A good bra fitter should ideally assess the bra you have on and work from there. Some may use tape measures, but that is only part of the process. A well fitted bra isn’t some equation that can be solved by knowing a measurement, it’s something that is so personal depending on the person being fitted. They should firstly check your band back and see how well it’s fitting you. They will probably need to know how old the bra is and how often you wear it. They will then check how the cups fit you and bring you a few styles and sizes to try. Should they feel that they do not stock something in the size you need they should relay that information in the nicest manner possible without judgement, and possibly even refer to you another store. A good bra fitter does not cram women into any old size just to get them out of their changing room and to the tills, just like a shoes salesperson wouldn’t cram your size 7 feet into some size 5s and dismiss the discomfort that you will inevitably feel.

A good bra fitter should take the time to ensure you are fitted correctly into a bra and you know exactly what to do with it. They should bring you a size that you can fasten on the loosest hook, explaining that the next hooks are there so you can fasten the bra snugly as the brand stretches out over time. They should ask that you scoop all of the breast tissue from under your arms into your cups so that the bras underwires sits flat against your torso, and not on any breast tissue. They should tighten the shoulder straps enough that they stay up, but not so much that they take the strain of the weight of the bust – the band should be doing 80% of the work. And everything they do in order to fit the bra should be explained to you. It sounds so obvious, and maybe implies that women do not understand what bras are for, but it should just be a simple helpful fitting process to give the person getting the fitting the best chance of comfort and value. Ideally you should try a top on over your bra and move around, just as you would walk around a shop in a pair of shoes. Bras can be expensive, and as they are worn for most of the day they need to be as perfect as possible.

In my experience and from the comments left by my readers, so many bra fitters seem to body shame women and give them poor service. It makes me sad to know that these women are out there, making other feel bad about their bodies and causing them discomfort. Just remember: the bra fitter is not always right and as long as you go to a fitting armed with the knowledge of how a well fitting bra looks and feels and what you should and shouldn’t be told with regards to your body, then there is nothing to worry about.

If you have had any outstandingly good or bad bra fitting experiences then share them in the comments.

If you are unsure about how a bra should fit then why not check out my ‘Bra Fitting’ tab, where you can find videos, explanations and much much more.

Starting A Blog: What I’ve Learnt

8 May

When I started my blog almost two years ago, I had no idea what to expect. Cheryl from Invest In Your Chest gave me some helpful tips and encouragement, and her help and advice over the past few years has earned her the title of ‘Fairy blogmother’, and a place in my heart. But aside from that, I pretty much went it alone.

As I have said on here and in countless interviews, the reason for starting my blog was simple: I wanted to show women how clothing and underwear looked on a larger frame and bust, and give my opinion and views at the same time. No photoshopping, no professional hair and make up and photographer, just me, in my living room, running back and forth with my camera on timer! Over the past few years my blog has evolved somewhat, and as well as writing my reviews I also host guest posts from Mums, smaller busted women, corset experts and so much more. I write opinion pieces on things like the word ‘fat’, cup size and back size misconceptions, celebrity bra sizes and everything inbetween. But above all, I try to stay true to my blog – true to why I wrote it and who I write it for.
And so I thought I would write this post to share with you what I have learnt along the way. My blog is not perfect, my methods may not be recommended, but it’s worked for me, and I hope it can help work for those of you out there who are thinking of starting a blog. My advice comes from writing a fashion and lingerie blog, and so a lot of my commentary will be applicable to those areas of blogging.

When I first had the idea of starting my blog I was aware of only a few other blogs. Pocket Rocket Fashion, Sophia Jenner, Undercover Lingerista, Thin&Curvy, Diamonds’n’Pearls and Invest In Your Chest. I must say that Thin&Curvy’s blog was pretty much the inspiration for my own, as I knew then that my blog would consist of clothing and underwear reviews like hers, and a description of my figure would be the best way to let people know what the blog was about. My fuller figure and bust…wait, what a great name for a blog!
So far I’ve had no regrets with regards to my name. Yes it’s a bit of a mouthful to say, but I wouldn’t have named my blog anything else. My only issue is with those who come across my Facebook page of the same name and assume it’s a page dedicated to women with a larger body and bust, and they become quite irate when I post other things…

Before committing to a name for your blog, make sure you are happy with it. Make sure that it still looks good when it becomes one word, as that will be how your URL will make it look (Pen Island anyone?) and google it to check that you are not unwittingly copying anyone else. If you are stuck, why not just use your name, or an alliteration of your name? Do not make a hasty decision!

When I first started blogging I had no ‘About Me’ and no way for people to contact me. I just assumed that I would write my blog and that would be that. Cheryl forced me to get Twitter a few months after starting the blog, and she set up an email address for me at the same time. I started the Facebook page a few months later, and recently added a descriptive ‘About Me’, along with contact details. I know how important it is to have all of the above now, not least because my day job requires me to read many many blogs and contact the bloggers, whilst assessing their social media fan amounts. So make sure you do have an email address clearly displayed on your blog, and use and abuse social media to your advantage!

You will need to decide early on whether or not you want to be anonymous, or show your face or body in your blog. These days there are entire press events created for bloggers, specifically fashion bloggers, and being anonymous could mean missing out on that.
As for showing parts of your body that you are not happy with – think very very carefully. The internet never forgets ANYTHING, and so if you post one bra clad photo and change your mind a minute later, it will be too late! I don’t mean to scare you, I just want to make you aware of how things could affect your future.

My number one rule of blogging is – stay true to why you started. It can be easy to get swept up with offers of sponsored posts and random reviews, but your audience and reasons for writing should be at the forefront of your mind when you set about writing a new post. Your readers come to you because they know what they are getting – don’t make them go elsewhere.

You should also be honest. If you are reviewing freebies and you really don’t like them then say so. People may make purchases based on your recommendations, and if you aren’t being truthful about a product then it may ruin things for them. There are ways of saying that something isn’t to your taste without being rude or upsetting the brand, and everyone appreciates honesty.

Speaking of freebies – don’t expect it to happen over night, or maybe at all! I get tens of comments from women who see that I review gifted items and say ‘cor, I had better start a blog so I can get freebies!’ – that’s not quite how it works. Yes, some bloggers get sent items to reviews – companies aren’t stupid, and they know that a bloggers with x amount of readers being send a dress that costs them £20 to make may make them £200 back. However, it takes a while for those companies to notice and want to interact with bloggers, and that often doesn’t happen when bloggers go ahead and ask for products! So if you are writing a blog to get freebies, good luck! A lot of hard work and dedication has to go into making a blog work, and for that you really need a true passion. Stick at it, and it will pay off, but your reason for writing should not be because of ‘freebies’.

You should also bear in mind that bloggers who do get sent items often choose those items. And so they will often be positive about the item, as they will have picked it for a reason. I have been sent one item that I did not want or like in my whole history of blogging, and that was the dreaded Ahh Bra. And as you can see I was less than kind about it…

People blog about all sorts of things. Tents, restaurants, clothes, dogs… Personally I believe that reviews should mostly be picture rich to help break up the text, and as descriptive as possible. The photos do not have to be of you, but it’s nice to have a reference for your readers if the post allows for it. Reviews should be honest, engaging and true to the subject matter.

I always try to share my reviews on my various social forums – Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr etc. I try to make the companies mentioned in the review aware of it, and I sporadically share old review every so often so that new readers and followers can be informed of older posts. I use my posts to refer to things, to answer questions about how certain brands fit me, or how colours look on me. I always categorise my posts, so that people looking for bikini or shapewear reviews can do so easily.

My fellow bloggers are the reason for my success. Blogging is not a rivalry, it’s a sisterhood. I am always happy to retweet and share and mention posts that others have written, and the same is done for me. I want to provide my readers with a service, show them other options and other great resources. I learn a lot from reading other blogs, and I want to share those findings with others. I regularly share my thoughts and ideas and woes with some bloggers who have become close friends of mine, and I am so thrilled to be part of this community.

I personally receive a huge amount of emails and messages every week. They are from women asking for advice, help, a shoulder to cry on – and I always take the time to reply in the best way I can. I do the same with my Twitter and Facebook followers, and I do it because I want to help women feel beautiful or wear the correct size bra or find that perfect dress. Loyalty to my readers is what helps make my blog successful, and you should always look after those who look up to you and come to you for help.

I try to put out a new post weekly to keep my readers engaged. Some blogs update daily, some just a few times a month. There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to blogging frequency, and you should never feel forced to post. If you can’t complete a post – come back to it, do something else. This very post has taken me MONTHS to write! I felt like I had so much information to get down, and it seemed incredibly daunting. However, I wrote a few extra lines every week or so, and although it will never be perfect, it’s finally taken shape and hopefully gives budding bloggers some good advice!

I hope my post has made sense and you have enjoyed reading it! As I said, these are tips and tricks that I have picked up and made up along the way and used to make my blog successful.

Life As A Busty Teen – A Guest Post

29 Apr

I’m 17 and I’m a bra-a-holic.

The trouble is, I also happen to require a 28J bra – this does not help when I want to buy pretty, age-appropriate bras! The choice seems to be white over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders resembling a load of scaffolding, or super-sexy please-let-me-sleep-with-you contraptions. I would give pretty much anything to be able to walk into Topshop like my friends and buy a bra. But I can’t. When I go out to Oxford Street, my friends spend hours in ‘normal’ high street shops buying armfuls of cheap clothing and bras that somehow they know will fit, even without trying them on. Yes, I’ve measured them. They are genuinely a 32A and a 30C. I am not. So, because they’re lovely people, they agree to get dragged to Bravissimo/Pepperberry with me, in the hope that I might find a nice bra or even a top that goes over my chest (shock horror!) Shopping trips are sometimes a bit of a nightmare, because nothing will go over my boobs. I’m a size 8 on the bottom, but often have to go up to up to a 14 or even a 16 to get a top to go anywhere near fitting over the top of my J-for-Jinormous chest.

I remember buying my first bra with my mum, aged 11, in M&S. It was a super-girly, non-wired pink frilly crop top, and it was a 30A. I felt seriously grown-up. At 12, I was in 32A bras, from cool, teen-appropriate shops like Topshop and New Look, and at 13 I was still wearing the same size, and I wished my boobs would hurry up and grow! At 14, I despaired because I’d lost weight and gone back down to a 30A, leading me to stuff my bra with enough chicken fillets to open a branch of McDonalds. But at 15, I had a sudden growth spurt and discovered I needed a 30F bra. This was the point when I realised that my clothes were not going to fit nicely over my chest, and so I spent a year or so living in men’s t-shirts, with the occasional Pepperberry top when I could afford it.

I’m now in sixth form college, so I can wear stretchy t-shirts or Pepperberry tops, but in secondary school, the compulsory uniform involved wearing a white button-up shirt. Busty ladies will know that regulation white school shirts from John Lewis are not friends with large chests. So, instead of the £3 regulation shirts, I went to Pepperberry and bought some for £30 each. This was all very well, until my male head of year asked me, “Why are you not wearing the regulation school shirts? That one is not part of our school uniform!” The response “Sorry Sir, my boobs are too big” got me a detention, and he got months of dirty looks from me and my Pepperberry-clad chest.

By 16, I was wearing a 28G bra. Yes, I’d lost weight and gained  a cup size. Bummer. Men would come up to me in the street and ask if me boobs were real, and occasionally reach over for a quick grab-and-run. I also got a bit of stick at school, because according to a group of stroppy, unruly teenagers, having big boobs made me a ‘slut’. The fact that I was a virgin and had never had a boyfriend was apparently not relevant.

At 17, I’ve moved to another school to escape the bullying, and am buying 28J bras. My current favourites are the Bravissimo ‘Bettie Mae’ and the Curvy Kate ‘Showgirl’ range – although the designs are slightly moving into the you’re-way-to-young-to-pull-this-off category. Despite all the challenges they bring, I actually quite like my boobs. Coupled with a larger-than-life bum and a fairly little waist, I have quite a nice hourglass figure (albeit one with a few extra minutes). The one thing I’m really grateful for is that I have the necessary boob-knowledge to put me in the right size bra – I think my chest is quite thankful for that as well! The reason I know about bra sizing is partly down to my Mum, who introduced me to Bravissimo at the age of 15, and partly down to blogs like Fuller Figure Fuller Bust, who teach great bra fitting and body confidence. I’ve come to realise that just because my size isn’t stocked in Victoria’s Secret, Topshop, or Primark, I’m not a freak. Or a slut. I am a 17 year old girl, and I just happen to have size 28J boobs.

My Body Acceptance Journey By Rachael Morgan

20 Apr

This guest post is one that moved me to tears. It was written by the beautiful Rachael, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

The argument of what is considered to be beautiful is a daily topic for many women within this generation. Too skinny, too fat, too small, too tall, flat chested and massive knockers – there’s so much controversy of how we should or shouldn’t look. One minute you’re looking at slender catwalk models and the next being greeted by average sized women in the latest beauty promotion. Body confidence is important and I live by the rule that aside from the occasional use of slimming pants once in a while – accepting your body is the best thing you can do for your mental health and in most cases physical health. I spent almost nine years of my life depriving myself of my natural lumps and bumps and overcame a variety of difficulties regarding how I view my body whilst struggling with obvious defects.

I was always a chubby kid, for as long as I can remember other children seemed ten times smaller than me. I became overweight in primary school and by the age of eight I was already fitting in to size 12 clothing. It was always obvious, even when I was a natural chubby youngster that I’d be the one to have boobs first and develop a womanly body as I grew older, but as attention was drawn to my body from a young age for being a bit different – I thrived off eating more. In some ways I thought this was expected of me. ‘The fat kid’, so I may as well carry on eating my sweets, By the age of 9 I was bullied badly for my increasing weight gain and this is around the time my relationship with food became some sort of a disastrous love story.

I starved myself of anything good – vegetables, fruit and nutritious meals purposely and lived off anything processed – burgers, chocolates and crisps. When I reached 13 I was coming up to 18 stone on the scales. As I began secondary school other girls my age started talking about boyfriends and fashion whilst the highlight of my day was lunch time. It was like I was possessed by food. It was the one thing that cheered me up and made me feel happy – biting in to something tasty. I always imagined in my head that I was a lot slimmer and it wasn’t a big deal and made up for my lack ‘looks’ by being bubbly and the class clown. I’ve always had a big personality and during the time of my weight issues, I’ve always used this as my disguise.

Reaching my teens also meant of course, the dramatic growth of boobs. I already had A cups from the age of 9 but when I hit 13 they seemed to appear out of nowhere. As my breasts began to grow naturally along with puberty and my weight gaining, I was horrified by what became attached to my chest. I developed an F cup, however my right breast never grew and took a stand still at a B cup. I always thought like my mum and elder sister I’d inherit a wonderful set of naturally large knockers and was appalled at how my breasts look. The insecurity of being so overweight and developing asymmetrical breasts took a very dramatic turn on my mental health. I felt like a walking joke, as the bullying got worse I lost the disguise of being able to laugh off the awful comments and with my right cup of my bra padded out with 4 chicken fillets to even out the differences, I felt like everyone knew my little breast secret.

At the age of 13 I began throwing up after my meals in a desperate bid to lose weight. I thought by losing weight, maybe my breasts would even out and I’d lose weight, therefore I’d be happy and slim. I decided I’d throw up my dinner every night to shed a bit of the unwanted weight and would do it until I’d lost enough weight to be considered ‘normal’. As the days, weeks and months went on I noticed that throwing up my dinner was making me lose weight, but not that much to be a plausible or a noticeable weight loss – I was still being bullied for being overweight and my breasts hadn’t changed in the slightest. I knew I needed to increase my weight loss regime but I still had a passion for eating hefty quantities of food. By the time I was 15 I began throwing up after everything I ate, but would often go back for another meal to compensate. I was purging and replacing the calories with other fattening foods. At 15 I began to face the consequences of my eating disorder as my body didn’t have a clue what was going on. Was I starving or overeating – it was a very dangerous and unhealthy contrast and at 16 I developed pneumonia and began to gradually turn gaunt and yellow.
By my 17th birthday I had been hospitalised for contracting various liver and stomach infections due to bile erosion. After having pneumonia and being unable to physically eat, my body kicked in to starvation mode and when I was well enough to eat – I decided against it. I’d lost so much weight not eating anything so I began my bid to keep this cycle of starvation in place. During the whole year of 2007 and 2008 I only ever ate a slice of ham a day and vomited any other food I consumed. I became bones, my skin was yellow and dry, the bags under my eyes resembled bin bags, I was tired, I was constantly in and out of hospital, my family was at despair and I dedicated my entire life to exercising and making sure my body was as tiny as it could physically be. I regularly vomited blood, I was unable to have braces on my teeth as the acid would of rotted my teeth noticeably with the braces and I was physically unrecognisable. By this point I was so ill I was no longer at school and spent months at a time in my bedroom by myself researching on ‘thinspiration’ websites and gaining new ideas of how to keep the weight off. I endured many illnesses through my friendship with bulimia – I had bronchitis, constantly had throat infections, I suffered from bad digestion and indigestion problems, my nails fell off, my hair fell out, at one point my eyebrows even began to fall out. My fingers where often blue and scabbed over from making myself vomit. At 19, it had been around 3 years since I had done a ‘normal’ poo.

It affected every single element of my life – education, relationships, jobs, family and friends. I couldn’t go out for a meal without having to run off to the bathroom to throw up.

My breasts at this point had lost a lot of their content, so I was now left with asymmetrical sacks with nothing in them. The phrase ‘oranges in plastic bags’ could not of suited my chest more. I could never find a bra to fit, I could never wear certain tops or dresses and when it came to being intimate the fear of exposing my breasts and being laughed at made it impossible to feel comfortable around men. Sleepovers with friends in general was an issue as I’d always have to sleep with my bra on lined with my chicken fillets. The physical discomfort of wearing a bra constantly was awful and I often found the textures of the chicken fillets I wore made me develop rashes and eczema on my right breast. I felt like a complete alien or like I had breasts from a joke shop attached to me. I didn’t see the point in bettering my health as what would be the point – I’d still be ‘ugly’.

By the age of 21 I had reached my peak of unhappiness with the way my life was. I didn’t feel I had an eating disorder, I felt the eating disorder had me. My breasts grew saggier as I kept fighting to be skinny and I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2011. I was so disgusted by this diagnosis as I always thought that I wouldn’t let myself get that bad, after all I only started throwing up here and there when I was 13 to keep some pounds off. So how an earth was I ten stone lighter. I was diagnosed by doctors with bulimia when I was 16 but as that was such a long time ago, I thought despite clearly being bulimic, that diagnosis would of ‘ran out’ and I was actually normal. I completely forgot how to eat, I would prepare food and was thinking of throwing it back up as soon as I’d ate it. As my anorexia really kicked in, as soon as I’d ate a meal I would naturally start throwing up without even having to encourage it. It was embarrassing and degrading. I had no confidence and had encountered several failed relationships due to my mentality. Receiving compliments felt like I was still being bullied only now I was being patronised. As my last relationship ended during this time I realised how much my life affects other people and deprives me of the natural things that occur in life – I was now depriving myself of happiness, love and sex. The bulimia and the anorexia had began to eat away at my family, friends and partners. I’d get taken out for meals by my previous partner and leave him sat in the bar whilst I spent half an hour in the toilets pretending to ‘poo’. Looking back it could not of been more obvious what I was doing yet nobody quite knew how to help me any more. I’d seen every councillor, doctor and psychiatrist you could but I wasn’t ready then to let go of my life as I knew as soon as I admitted defeat I’d have to regain weight and the prospect of that petrified me.

At the age of 21 I decided I needed to do something with my breasts at some point to have a chance of feeling confident in life. I’m not saying surgery is the only option here for people with asymmetrical breasts, but my case was so severe and extreme that it was the only thing that could be done. I think surgeons need to be given gratitude for how much they can change someone’s life. Surgery is very serious and there’s a lot of stigma around it. I feared even getting surgery would instantly make me one of those ‘Hollywood plastics’ and I’d still be unaccepted by everyone. It wasn’t until I spoke to a surgeon and he assessed me that I learnt it was very common to have surgery and it is acceptable. I saw a private surgeon as I had previously tried via the NHS and was rejected due to my BMI. The surgeon I saw told me I’d need full re constructive surgery – loose skin removed, both breasts reshaped (my smaller breast was tubular shaped whilst my bigger one rounded), I’d get implants to even out the asymmetrical difference and my nipples replacing. Going to see a surgeon and learning that I could have this issues fixed was appealing – it was like the answers to my prayers, however, no surgeon will operate on someone with bulimia and anorexia. I was also rejected by the monthly instalments of the £5,600 surgery as I didn’t have a credit rating to prove I could pay such repayments. The double news of rejection and feeling like the last surge of hope I had left to be taken away really difficult to cope with. I starved and starved myself to the point waking up was a struggle because I was so undernourished. I began applying to jobs as an escort in a desperate bid to get the funds together for the surgery on my breasts, I started drinking heavily and took drugs to block out the realisation that I was trapped like this forever.

I think my parents really realised at this time how much my life had been overruled by my breasts, eating disorder and lack of confidence. I cried most days after I found out I couldn’t get the surgery and I didn’t care what I did I just wanted to get money together. I worked two jobs and went to university whilst coping with the side effects of an eating disorder and one day I cracked. I broke down completely and hit the lowest I’d been.

My parents are absolutely incredible people who deserve awards for the amount of times they’ve helped me in to an ambulance, sat and told me until they are literally blue in the face that I did not have to treat myself the way I did and generally just parented me and let me cry on and with them. My parents arranged, in secret that they would fund my breast reconstruction surgery. I had no idea about this, it was February the 23rd 2012 and that morning my mum sat me down and begged me to eat a piece of toast. I always remember this day because for some reason I noticed, to be frank how awful I looked through the lack of food in my system. We had a small chat about me not eating and usual I shrugged her off and went to my bedroom to continue exercising. That evening, my best friend (of 16 years, who has supported me through all of this) was round to stay, we were all sat in my living room and my dad randomly announced he had the cash saved up ready to get my operation. The absolute shock of finding out that another human could be so generous, thoughtful and offer me this hope was overwhelming. I don’t think I have ever cried so much from happiness. The guilt of my parents paying for my operation was hard to accept and took a HELL of a lot of reassurance from them – they told me I deserved it and I began to believe that maybe I did.

My operation got booked for the 23rd of June that year on the condition that a doctor can sign me off as being healthy. I had no choice but to beat anorexia now, there was a life changing operation and my parents had went out of their way to raise the money for me. I owed it to them and I owed it to myself. A few weeks after booking my operation I went food shopping and devised a healthy eating plan, I knew I had to prepare myself for my recovery and I had to do it myself. I sat and ate my first full meal in years – 10 pieces of pasta, 5 cubes of chicken and half a pepper and I actually enjoyed it. The feeling of food in my stomach was really hard to get to grips with and the urge to just start throwing up was tempting but I resisted it. Everyday I ate one small meal and over the weeks I increased to 3 meals a day. I still exercised lightly but this time it was enjoyable, it wasn’t a chore. I went on bike rides with friends and did sit ups whilst singing along to music, I began to get a taste of great food and how to have fun with general exercise. I began going out for lunch with big groups of friends, I had people round for dinner and cooked for them, I even went on a few dates and ate in front of them. The massive ‘click’ that happened in my head the day I booked that operation gave me a date to work towards, something to focus on. As my weight increased and I had to throw away my small clothes, a part of me was still heartbroken that my love affair with food had ended. It was honestly like an abusive marriage break up. To live with something day in, day out and get treated so badly from it and wake up one day and throw it aside was awful. I longed to have bulimia and anorexia back sometimes but it’d click again that I had to move on and do what’s right for myself.

By May 2012, I had put on 2 stone and a natural size 12-14. Every woman in my family is at least a size 12, it seems it’s in the genes to have bigger hips and wider thighs and whilst I still had bad days of looking in the mirror and disliking the bigger woman that was in front of me, my confidence soared. My hair started to grow and was soft, my skin looked so clear and even, my fingers had cleared up, I’d lost a lot of body hair (which grew during my anorexia) and I received a lot of attention for my curvy frame.

I had my operation in Manchester and my surgeon was always honest with me. He told me my asymmetric breasts were the worst case he’d ever seen and was baffled as to why the NHS hadn’t agreed to fund my op. He told me there was no guarantee they would be 100% perfect but he would do everything he possibly could to ‘fix’ them. The staff at the hospital were incredible and supportive and deserve recognition for how helpful, genuine and lovely they all were to me. I woke up with asymmetrical breasts on June the 23rd and woke up again after the operation and looked down to see two massive jumps the same size. I was a bit out of it but just seeing my boobs in bandages was one of the best moments of my life.


Before surgery



Before surgery


After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

I recovered well from my operation, I continued to eat well which at times was a struggle as it was the first time I’d not been able to exercise as I was obviously restricted with my movement. My breasts looked fantastic – the surgeon had achieved more than what I or he had hoped for and my breasts looked completely perfect and natural. We had planned to aim to make my breasts a 34DD however when the measurements in came in after healing I was wearing a 32H or a 34G depending on which shop!

And that leads me to today. I’m still a size 12-14, I still eat healthy and I’m still in the process of replacing all of my old clothes to bigger ones that cater for my figure and of course, my breasts. I have never shared my story outside of my mum, dad, sister and three close friends. I decided to make it public as my struggles with weight, eating and my breasts has been a long journey. I have truly accepted myself and my body now. I feel by sharing my story I can celebrate all I have overcome and would like to think people who relate to similarities in this story can see that wonderful, positive things can happen. I deprived myself for so long of curves, health and happiness. My past has a lot of baggage but my future is so free from it now. I look forward to meeting a man who when he reminds me I’m beautiful, I can truly believe it. I’ll wear my dresses with pride knowing I can now appreciate what’s underneath the fabric. Every time I look in the mirror I vow to pick out the positives, because the hard work I did to get to this point, the support from family and friends and work of my surgeon needs celebrating and I am never wasting another second of my life worrying about calories, food and starving. I am just a very normal, average young woman but I hope now that people realise exterior is often very misleading and it was judgement that goes back almost 15 years that allowed me to think badly of myself. I think my eating disorder and surgery will come as a huge shock to those who know me but we need to be honest here, even such normal people as me struggle with such difficulties so I imagine it’s a lot more common than we think.

I am excited about my future and making the most out of my wardrobe, body, breasts and life through honour and honesty.




Celebrity Bra Sizes

11 Dec

Recently my most searched term on my blog has been ‘Kat Dennings bra size’. I’m somewhat cheered by this, as I see so many so called ‘experts’ proclaiming her a 38DDD, which literally makes no sense. To break it down – a 38 would mean that her raw under bust measurement would be around the 38 inch mark. Not even mine is that, and I can safely say that she is a lot smaller than I am. And DDD? Please. The Alphabet Does Not Stop At DDD. This calculator should help if you are now confused about your own bra and size!

I get bra rage every time I see articles and forums spouting ill informed crap about what size celebrititties are, and so I have decided that it’s time to make my own ‘Celebrity Bra Size’ post and also explain my reasons behind my predictions. It’s not that I want to reduce these women to their cup and band size, but more that I want to hit back at the crazy amounts of D’s I see out there!
Similar predictions to the ones I’m about to make have already been cast by Sophia Jenner and I think you’ll see we share similar bra knowledge!

Kat DenningsI would guess that the 2 Broke Girls star is around a 30H for reasons I touched on above. She is around 5’4 and slim with curves. Her back isn’t overly broad but her chest is! And a 30H is the equivalent to a 40DDD in terms of cup volume therefore not making it so hard to fathom.

Katie PriceKatiepriceJordan Jordan… I have read several articles that put the glamour model at a 36E. Wow. That woman has a very strict exercise and diet plan, and friends who have met her in real life tell me that she is very very petite. Her back is probably around 24/26 inches, the same back size as Brittany from Thin&Curvy.599370_379742438740172_1082413856_n And that impressive rack leads me to guess that she is a 24K.

Sofia VergaraSofiaAs seen in this post Sofia claims that she is a 32F. And whilst I know I will seem obtuse for arguing with what she knows about her own body, I can’t help but think that she may be closer to a 28G – the exact same cup volume as a 32F, just with a firmer band.

Dolly PartonDollyThe buxom country and west singer has had the words ‘40DDD’ uttered about her more times than anyone. Going with my above methods of prediction I would say she is closer to a 30J.

Kim KardashianKimKim is famous for her beautiful curves, and most sites put her as being around a 34DD. I’m going to guess that she is a 30G, the same size as Curvy Kate’s Lauren.lauren

Christina HendricksChristinaOh Christina. Her boobs are a thing of lust for boys and girls alike. I do sometimes cringe at the way she contorts them into her outfits and the unnecessary photo shopping that a lot of publications indulge in, and I would say her alleged 38DDD is around a 30H.

Lara StoneLaraI adore Lara Stone. She has beautiful curves and such a unique look. I love that she is a top fashion model with a shape that sets her apart from the rest and most of all I love that she is married to funny man David Walliams. The busty blonde is probably around a 30GG, the same as Curvy Kate’s Laura.laura

Katy PerrykatyI would put the gorgeous singing sensation in a 28GG.

Salma HayeksalmaSalma showed us all what she was made of in that unforgettable ‘Dusk Til Dawn’ scene, and I think that she has a 28G bust.

Scarlett JohanssonscarlettI would put Scarlett at a 28F.

Halle BerryhalleMost forums seem to guess at Halle being a 36C.  She looks like a 30G to me.

Helen FlanaganHelenThe Jungle babe is around a 28G.

Kate UptonkateIt’s pretty much impossible to find a photo of  Kate in a well fitted bra or bikini, which shocks me as she is an underwear model.  However, I think that those poor mangled boobs are a 30FF.

All of these are pure guesses with a lot of knowledge behind them. And as every photo of every celeb was different the guesses may not be as close to the truth as I would like. However, I would like to think that they are a lot closer than the terrible ‘expert’ predictions that litter the web at the moment.

What do you think of my guesses? Do you have your own opinions about certain celebrities sizes? Does it also infuriate you when the media spout nonsensical sizes?

Volup2 Kickstarter Campaign

18 Sep

Velvet d’Amour and her fantastic magazine ‘Volup2’ are slowly taking over the world!  She has just released the third issue, ‘Zest’, and has already racked up several million page views.  Her beautiful images grace many tumblr sites, blogs and web pages as people rejoice in seeing  her celebration of beauty in it’s every form.

Up until now almost everyone involved has worked for free, and any expenses that have cropped up have been paid for out of her own pocket.  Now, as she looks to carry on her amazing work she is looking for funding and donations.  That’s where YOU can help!

Click here if you would like to watch or read what she has to say about her work, and if it moves you you can make a donation. The best part is that you receive a gift or reward with every amount pledged, as well as knowing you are helping a fantastic project out!

(And if you watch the video closely you may even see yours truly having some fun behind the scenes!)

So go on, see what Velvet has to say and maybe you could help be part of a huge revolution.

Click here to check out the magazine’s ever amusing and poignant Facebook page.
Click here to follow Velvet on Twitter.

Bra Sizes Do Not Exist Without Back Sizes

16 Aug

I’m about to show you an image that will blow your mind.

I know what you’re thinking –

“What?! How can they be over a D? They look tiny! How do you know that? It’s nonsense!”

Let me start by telling you that those bras are Curvy Kate bras and they only start at a D cup, meaning that the wearers would have to be a D or even over. And yes, you may start to entertain the idea of photoshopping but why? What makes it so hard to believe that those women have D+ breasts? After all, all a D cup is is a bust measurement that is roughly 4 inches bigger than the underbust measurement. So if, for example, those women are both 28Ds then they theoretically have 28 inch underbusts and 32 inch busts. Is that so hard to fathom?

I see and hear a lot of women talking about their bust as a letter and nothing else, something that infuriates me.

“This dress was perfect on me, and I’m a DD!”

“I don’t get how she’s a G? I’M a G!”

Here’s the thing: to label yourself solely as a letter or make assumptions about a letter is misguided. Without a back size a cup size means nothing. It would be like telling the time and only telling the minute not the hour. It’s half past…but half past what? The two pieces of information need to go hand in hand as without one the other does not make sense.

So when we see a women and she is labelled as being a “32DD”, we cannot, in our 40DD bra, scoff and say ‘But how can SHE be a DD when I am a DD?!’ – it just makes no sense. A 32DD and a 40DD have nothing in common at all apart from the fact that they both have the DD label. They are not the same size, they are just the same relative size – by that I mean the ‘DD’ is an indication of how proportionally large the bust is in comparison to the frame, NOT how large the bust is all on it’s own.

Cartoons like the above do not help with cup letter ignorance. The assumption that ALL DD cup women have huge breasts is false – as proven by my first image.

Cup size ignorance leads to ill fitting bras – women assume, for example, that they can’t be a D cup as D cups MUST be huge, and therefore they suffer in too small cups and riding back bands. Do yourself and womankind a favour and wise up about bra sizes. Don’t always put it down to ‘vanity sizing’.

Why I Don’t Hate “Skinny” Women – Just A Few Words

9 Aug