I apologise in advance for what is going to be a very selfish post all about…me. My life, my experiences and my views.
I’ve been bigger for most of my life. Not as large as I am now, but compared to my peers I was a heavyweight. I must have been, or else why would they and my family have constantly found new and interesting ways to bring it to my attention? ‘Heffalumpa’, ‘tree trunk thighs’, ‘Georgie Podgy’ and all manner of other creative terms were flung my way throughout my teenage years. I sometimes wonder whether I would have loathed my body had no one brought my larger frame to my attention on an almost daily basis, or whether I would have still compared my shape and size to those around me and despaired at it’s apparent heftyness.
These days I have a healthier approach to my body. Just because I am a larger lady, it doesn’t mean that that is all I am. I am Georgina. I am someone’s best friend. I am someone’s girlfriend. I am a blogger. I work in marketing. I have done the odd bit of modelling. I have fat on my body, but I am not fat – a mere lump of the stuff. And so what if I do have a bit of chub? What has my extra wibble stopped me doing? I’ve travelled, bungee jumped, sky dived, danced all night long. I’ve gone swimming in rivers, pools, streams and oceans. I’ve been flirted with, hit on and chatted up enough for me to safely conclude that I am not just an undesirable blubbery mess with no other attributes. I go running sporadically, I can climb several flights of stairs without collapsing and although I could be fitter, I’ve never felt hindered by my physical abilities. I fit comfortably into bus, train, plane and rollercoaster seats, and I’ve never capsized a boat. I have never experiences any ailments or illnesses due to my size. Diabetes? No, I am not a silly nonsensical cliché. Raised blood pressure? Only when people push onto a tube that I am getting off (you think they would see me…) Cholesterol problems? Give me a break! I could go on and on with a smug self important things that I have achieved DESPITE my weight and a list of problems that do not go hand in hand with squishy frame, but I think you all get the picture!
There are only ever two occasions that my lardy body gets my down. The first is when I catch a glimpse of myself in photos not looking my best. I am generally happy with my appearance, but when someone with a camera catches me off guard the end result can be monstrous. I do accept that they are capturing me as I look at that time, but I still get hung up and ‘detag’ myself in photos! Likewise, when I sometimes look in the mirror in something that doesn’t suit me or is too small for me, I feel horrid. I feel ashamed. However, would I still feel that way if I were smaller, but just about other parts of my body rather than my fat? And would I still feel that way if I didn’t live in a country that is obsessed with diets and cellulite and the idea that the only way to be perfect and happy is to be slim? Who can say.
The other thing that gets me down is… other people’s reactions to my size. Because as much as I want to make friends with the word ‘fat’, being branded a ‘fat lazy slag’ or any other random throwing together of seemingly negative words DOES hurt – how can it not? Sometimes I dwell on that hurt for days, sometimes I laugh it off within seconds, but it does make a mark on me and make me mentally regret every bite of chocolate and drunken burger I ever scoffed down. I curse myself for allowing my body to take on this vast form and I wonder how anyone could have ever liked me, loved me, seen me naked and felt anything other than nausea.
However, I do bounce back, more determined than ever to carry on with my life, doing all of the things that most other people do, unhindered by my size. I would like to shed some flab, as I do think that I would feel a little more content with some weight off. But my life will not stop until that point, and nor will the opportunities and amazing experiences that I have had and will encounter. I am not my weight. I am not simply ‘fat’ and every negative connotation that goes with that word. I am so much more than that, just like every other person out there who constantly gets reduced to being nothing more than a body size.
‘Being fat’. It’s not a disability, or the worst thing someone can be. It’s not an adequate singular way to describe a person. It’s not a term for a life half lived. It doesn’t call for the faux concern brigade to start firing out phrases like, “I just worry about how their weight will impact their lives in the future.” It’s just the way some people are.
Get over it.
Fuller Figure Fuller Bust 
This is why I love you so much…you are real, and able to be you ❤
Thank you x
This is exactly how I have been feeling recently! I can be a 14/16/18/20 and a size 34HH/J in clothes and underwear, but you know what… I buy what looks FLATTERING. I’m not going to squeeze in to a size 14 body con dress or skinny jeans, but I’ll buy the size that fits and accentuates and skims. Not only this, but I go running four times a week and regularly do 10 mile walks. I am fit… not SAS fit, but I can hold my own. I am healthy. I am attractive. I am active. I am happy (most of the time!) No woman is 100% happy with themselves, no matter what size they are. Dress for your shape, use tips and tricks such as shapewear, and EMBRACE your body! It’s an amazing piece of equipment. ❤
Just how I am feeling right now!!!!
❤
You were an absolutely beautiful young woman, and you are truly stunning now. Your current state of self-confidence is one of the things that makes you shine — but having low moments doesn’t take away from that essential inner assurance in your own awesomeness (trust me, I have them, too!)
I’m sorry that other people have hurt you, and that they continue to be thoughtless. I do love this phrase — “I have fat on my body, but I am not fat – a mere lump of the stuff.”
(I’m okay with saying “I am a fat woman” or “I am fat,” but that’s also been a part of my personal path to body acceptance, and I think that your thoughts are just as valid — and even if I say that I have a fat body, you’re right, I’m certainly made of a hell of a lot more than JUST fat . . . for one thing, where would my ferocious brain and scintillating personality fit into a lump of fat? *grin*)
I’m in the uncomfortable position of being fat (5’8″, 220lbs, US18, 40H) AND unhealthy — I actually am happy to embrace my body (although I admittedly was happier with it about 30 pounds ago, but this is what happens when you have a disability that requires you to take meds that cause weight gain, while reducing my activity level forcibly), but it’s hard to embrace a body that causes me daily pain.
There’s an intersectionality issue between fat and disability — being fat *isn’t* a disability, but if you’re fat and disabled, people feel the UTTER NEED to idiotically twitter about how much healthier I’d be if I “just lost a few pounds.”
Sadly, my genetic disorder is not going to go away, it’s with me for life — and I was just as unhealthy when I dropped down to 148 at the onset of my illness 10 years ago, my hair was falling out, doctors thought I might have cancer, etc. So, weight loss didn’t make me better — and weight gain didn’t make me worse.
But *ohhhhh* the amount of concern-trolling I’ve gotten over the years — it would be awesome if going down a couple of dress sizes would miraculously remove my need to use a wheelchair, but that’s not going to happen, so why obsess about it?
To get back to your post — I’m really happy that you’re at a place of more self-acceptance, and of knowing that *you*, Georgina, have so much of value to offer the world, and so much intelligence, vibrancy, generosity, and beauty, *because* you are the person that you are.
My daughter and I both really enjoy reading your blog — she and I have similar figures, although she’s thankfully less ludicrously-endowed than I am (her spine appreciates it!) and therefore has more options for bras and lingerie . . . but we love the fashions that you find, and seeing your smiling face and gorgeous curves and reading what you have to share is an absolute pleasure.
Thank you for writing this blog, and for writing this entry, because I know it isn’t always easy . . . but you’re offering a really valuable service to plus-sized busty women (and women who are wearing mis-sized bras, and plenty of other people as well), and you’re also showing the world that being a full-figured woman hasn’t stopped you from achieving your dreams — in fact, you’re living them in so many ways!
Best wishes from both of us 🙂
Sending you love and best wishes ❤
Ashbet – reading this has nearly made me cry!! I too have a disability and have had the exact same comments made to me, I really did think I was the only person to have such insensitive people in my life. I am currently trying to accept my over weight body and stop the years of yo yo dieting and it has been hard to get as far as I have but reading Georgina’s blog has helped fantastically and now reading this – wow!!!!
Thank you for these words both Georgina and Ashbet.
My life definitely changed the day I found your blog Georgina zxzzz
I’m so glad that my reply, and Georgina’s brilliant post, helped. It’s hard to campaign for body acceptance and to feel the conflict between saying “Fat people aren’t necessarily unhealthy! Some fat people can accomplish more than most thin people!”, while knowing yourself to be excluded from that truth.
People of all ages, shapes, and sizes can be disabled, and it’s not unique to fat people to have somehow brought that disability on themselves, or that losing weight would miraculously cure their disability.
That societal pressure needs to be stopped — because, seriously, the last thing we need is someone criticizing our body size while we’re doing our best to survive and thrive despite dealing with physical obstacles that most people never dream of.
Much love to you, and to Georgina! ❤
The people who hurl the insults are often the most insecure of all. You are becoming more confident every day, and are inspiring people to do the same. Take strength in that when you’re feeling low. Thanks for writing this.
Fat is not something to be characterised by. Thanks for bringing it to everyone’s attention sick of people judging on size rather than what’s really important. ❤
I love this post, thank you so much for sharing. I have felt like this my entire life, we all try not to let it get you down but occasionally it comes a bitch slaps you up the head. For me recently is having doctors tell me (with ‘that’ look on their face) i need to lose a lot of weight so i can have IVF. I do not think i am really large, just curvy as hell and a bit chubby. But we can embrace it, we are beautiful and i own who i am.
You are a inspiration, i love reading your blog. even on my down days it inspires me to embrace my shape and love who i am. Thank you xox
Wow, this was amazing to read. It’s like you’ve seen inside my head. I still refuse to be in photos because I hate seeing how I look – the other day my sister took a horrible profile shot of me and when I saw my double chin I sobbed. It makes me feel so much better to know you get days like this too – you always seem so confident, but I guess we (and probably most “bigger” girls) are from the same planet after all. Thank you for being so accessible – I email you on Facebook with questions every so often. Your writing, and that of other bloggers like you, means so much to me. You’re a total inspiration, and you’ve been massively helpful in my journey towards accepting that not being size 8 doesn’t mean I can’t be healthy or attractive. I also learned that the person who judged me most harshly and was most repulsed by me was myself, whereas in reality, nobody else ever cares that much. We all love you, never stop posting!
Yes, beautifully said. I think the problem of ill-fitting clothes is a real problem for people who feel they ‘ought’ to be a certain size and then don’t realize that if they just had something that fit, they would look fantastic! Whenever I get bigger and my clothes don’t fit I find it really disheartening because I feel hideous, but once I get new clothes that *do* fit, I feel so much better!
I am 5’6 and 135 lbs and while that doesn’t get me labelled “fat” by most standards, the two situations that get you down about your body are the same exact two things that get me down about mine. Random candid photos of me on facebook? Untagged at lightening speed. Snide comments by fellow bridesmaids “We can hang our matching dresses all in the same closet and we will be able to tell which one belongs to who based on size. You’re definitely the largest, right?” I think things like these will plague you your entire life, no matter your size because you’re a woman… and a gorgeous, intelligent one at that.
You, my dear, may be many a thing…but fat certainly isn’t one of them. You’re a gorgeous amazing awe-inspiring curvy Aphrodite…don’t let anyone tell you any differently. I think women have it tough in regards to body image, and while i certainly don’t agree with the way they like to shame us into trying to be thin, i applaud those of us who have the good sense to love our bodies and ourselves for who we are. 🙂
How sad to think that “being fat” is how you define yourself. You are simply gorgeous and you would be, bigger or smaller. You have heard a lot of negative talk about your body, yourself, it is hard not to believe it, but who made those people the experts about you? Why do we never believe it when someone says something positive , like you are beautiful, soft, gorgeous?
Skinny people have health problems too, and they have far less stamina to fight them. Not only that, as they age, they wrinkle badly and their skin sags.
Stay beautiful on the inside and the outside will take care of itself.The next time a skinny person talks to you about your weight, just smile politely, knowing you are going to look good ( and younger) a whole lot longer than they are!
I can relate, totally. I look back at some of my high school pictures and I think, WOW, I wasn’t fat! But, I was made to feel fat, and see myself in a bad body image light. I know I was attractive.. I partied and hung out with famous musicians, got into VIP places just like a thin beautiful woman would have. I always dated the person I wanted, and I have learned as I got older that young immature kids only know what they’re taught. We are teaching the new generation to love who you are. You’re absolutely right, we are beautiful, but inside and out. And, how much better is that?!
Hey G,
I like that you keep it real. It’s refreshing.
Just to note – I’ve gone through some wardrobe upgrades recently, and you’ve had your input (I check your blog for reviews and fits of clothes and lingerie all the time).
I think you’ve got a cracking figure. I’m sure most people would love to have what you do, along with the confidence that goes with it. As someone w a similar body type (well, your waist is much smaller), please know that you are an inspiration even to me.
I find that the people who are happiest with their own body image are usually attracted to people who are as well – regardless of size. I remember in uni a girl hating me because I was a size or two smaller than her! She hated me for being happy, and for being confident in myself.
Keep on being fabulous!
Effie.
I like that you keep it real. It’s refreshing.
Just to note – I’ve gone through some wardrobe upgrades recently, and you’ve had your input (I check your blog for reviews and fits of clothes and lingerie all the time).
I think you’ve got a cracking figure. I’m sure most people would love to have what you do, along with the confidence that goes with it. As someone w a similar body type (well, your waist is much smaller), please know that you are an inspiration even to me.
I find that the people who are happiest with their own body image are usually attracted to people who are as well – regardless of size. I remember in uni a girl hating me because I was a size or two smaller than her! She hated me for being happy, and for being confident in myself.
Keep on being fabulous!
Effie.
Reading this post brings so much home for me also. I agree with everything you’re saying about having a few personal issues with your weight but not letting it hold you back. You can 100% live a fulfilled and exciting life as a bigger person and it’s the ignorance and stereotypical push from the media that might make people think otherwise. I have friends of all shapes and sizes and they all have things they hate about themselves; for some it’s their hair, others their legs, some hate that birth mark that they have but those aren’t attributes thrown in their face. One of the most hurtful things a person can say is “you’d be so pretty if you lost weight”. I’m like “thank you but it’d still have the same everything just in a small size, so if that’s the case do I honestly look that bad now?”
Georgina your blog has helped thousands as you know (look how many likes you have and followers that are growing by the day!) and this has to be because people can not only relate to you but they find inspiration from you. I seriously respect your confidence and your approach and I can tell you would be a knockout at any size. You are so beautiful! Not to mention a sweetheart! Thanks for sharing this post I can only imagine that writing it brought up some awkward memories for you xxx
I agree with you completely. Everyone assumes that just because someone is fat they must eat McDonalds every day and do no exercise / be lazy. I was bullied terribly during school, and was heavier than I am now. 15/16 stone on a 13 year old isn’t a good look. At the time it was painful to be called names on a daily basis but I worked through it and “stuck two fingers up to them”, got good grades, went onto college then uni, then when I came back everyone was all nice to me. I eat healthy, I exercise (started spinning), I’ve done plenty of things that thin people would gasp at (not sky diving mind you – not as brave as you!)
I think you are beautiful – thank you for sharing this with us 🙂
x
Hey sweetie, I have written similar posts about this and I agree whole heartedly with you, and Callie who has written a post about it recently too.
We are not on our own. I have worked with women of all ages and sizes in my life through Miss England and I know that each and every one of those girls has an unflattering picture and has also felt that horrible sense of ‘ergh’ when they put something on that doesn’t suit them.
No one is a mannequin…thank goodness.
The best thing about us though is that we radiate a positive attitude to our looks and other people FEEL that from us.
The amount of time people have said that they don’t look at me and think ‘fat’ they look at me and think ‘sexy’ because I project this.
You know you are my body inspiration, I have said this before, but you’re the type of person that would be my friend too if we met. And that is what is most important in the world. To have good friends and love and to be loved.
I have something in the ‘pipework’ I am working on which is to promote the healthy attitude towards ones self and the advocates, like us that bring it to peoples attention. Keep an eye out for my news. xx
well written. and btw, the girl on the pictures does not seem overweight to me…
As someone who’s been struggling to lose weight for the last 3 years, this just made me fill up! I love your blog anyway, but have always read it with interest and not really commented – this post touched me so much that I had to write something.
I *so* agree with you that being overweight doesn’t define who you are, although I am certainly guilty of putting my life on hold because of it in the past, and need to be reminded of it on a regular basis. Once I managed to see past my weight and appreciate me for me, I was so much happier and have changed my life in ways I never thought possible.
Additionally, I think there’s room in our society for the acknowledgement that ‘fat’ (or overweight) doesn’t necessarily mean lazy. I am the heaviest of all my friendship group, yet I am by far the fittest. I can cycle 30 miles and get up the next day and do it again, and I regularly climb 3,000ft mountains – so yes at 5ft 4inches and ~15st I may be overweight, even obese, but I’m actually far healthier than than my skinny friends.
So thank you, for sharing and for making such valid points in such a public setting – you are an inspiration to women everywhere! x
Brilliant post and one I can completely relate to. My experience or background is somewhat different in that I was ‘thin’ until I fell ill at 22. My illness and disability meant I was unable to walk or exercise and gradually over the years I put on weight. It took me some time to come to terms with it, because my whole body had changed and indeed my whole life and what I was capable of. I would say I am more comfortable with my body now (at 33) than I ever have been (yet I’m heavier than I ever have been), but that doesn’t mean I don’t have issues or days or photos when I look like crap. I just have to remember I had days and photos when I looked like crap when I was thin, so losing weight isn’t going to be the answer to everything. I also have to remember I can’t change other peoples view of me…some will think I’m disgusting and fat at a size 20, some will still think that if I’m a 14. My sister used to call me fat at a size 12! So there’s no winning and I won’t kill myself trying to be thin just to please someone else. As for the risk to my health, well I fell ill when I was thin and that illness is still the one I have, I’ve not been diagnosed with anything else ‘because of my weight’, so not every fat person, like you say, suddenly has issues with diabetes etc etc I AM unfit and can’t walk/run/exercise, but that’s down to my illness not my weight. I was extremely fit before my disability. Of course I’d like to lose weight, but at the moment I can’t work off the calories in an apple, so it’s unlikely I will and I won’t kill myself trying. I’m thankful that blogging has been a support for me during this time and on the whole, the feedback is positive and there’s very few fat remarks or pressure to lose weight. As for society’s view on it, it’s a HUGE battle to fight to turn the opinions of those that think fat people are unfit and lazy and thin people are fit and healthy and really skinny is anorexic…I think us bloggers are trying hard to change it, but it’s going to take time. Anyway I think you are absolutely beautiful and love reading your blog and seeing your pictures. You have so much to offer and are such a positive influence x x x
I figure not fitting in the mould gives you a head start on accepting your body as you get older. It is ridiculous how much we define ourselves by how we look, and I am starting to realize that what I can do matters a lot more.
I realized that might sound wrong, as if I look down on people for not being able to do things. Not at all, it’s only that I realize how precious health is and how much more important it is than how I look. I’m not in perfect health, and as I get older it does get worse, so I’m trying to appreciate what I have while I still have it.
As I was reading this I was thinking, wow it’s so nice to know that there are other people out there that feel the same way. I have always been the “fat” girl of the group but like you I have never let it get in the way of me living my life. I don’t think I will ever be small, I’m okay with that, even though it has taken me a long time to come to terms with it. I love reading your blog, but this one especially hit a nerve for me. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being so honest!!!! x
I loved your post, it is always good to reflect on oneself and on the path.
I also I have a post yesterday with some thoughts on this and also the theme of the bikini.
XOXO
Really good article, Georgina, enjoyed reading it. Its still awful that people feel they can be nasty about how people look. How rude they are. I will never forget a complete stranger saying ‘I can tell you’re half chinese because you’re bigger than the other girls’ when I was 14. I was a size 12 at the time, weighed about 9 stone and didn’t until then feel fat. The friends I was with were taller and very slim. This woman was a friend of a friend and was older, should have known not to be nasty. I was devastated. What does size have to do with race?
People should accept others for who they are and not judge them on size.
This is one of the most inspirational pieces of writing I have read in a long time. Amazing! We all think we are the only person feeling like this. Love love love the blog. Keep up the great work
You are so right, Georgina. You are much more than a woman of a particular size. You inspire us all daily to love ourselves every day no matter how we look–that says much more than being thin. I will spread the word, we are all amazing, dynamic, brilliant women. I hope one day, we will all learn to value our other various traits that make us so unique. Thank you, Georgina–you’re always beautiful inside and out.
At 140 lbs I still have those thoughts andfeelings almost daily. Weight is not always the issue, its a negative culture and impossible standards.
Your blog helps to pick me up and inspire me.
Thank you for all you do!
It so refreshing to hear someone else say that they experience similar feeling, which is how I feel about myself everyday. I beat myself up about how I look, I’ve been made to feel that I’m not attractive and that I’m a wall flower when out with my friends. But the reality is that I’m worth more than all that negativity. Thanks Georgina!
Georgina you are an absolutely beautiful young women inside & out! I love reading your blog & can really understand what you say. I too am over weight but when I put on correct fitting underwear, clothes that flatter my figure & not try to hide it & with the help of a bit of make up I look in the mirror & say I look good! There are lots of unattractive skinny women just cause there slim doesn’t mean they look better, we all need self confidence I’m 52 just sorry I didn’t realise this years ago. so keep doing what your doing & never put yourself down x
You are beautiful at any size because you are a beautiful person, inside and out. I am a plus size woman and you have been such an inspiration to me as a plus size blogger. I love all your reviews, whether of lingerie, clothing or anything else. And your posts like this are a great talking point and underline why you are such a huge success. Long live Fuller Figure Fuller Bust! ❤
Hi my name is Jeann’ey and I am from South Africa.I stumbled upon your blog and I just would like to thank you for telling your story and sharing how you feel.I can relate to everything that you said and sadly with me is that I tend to let that get me down most of the time(I know I shouldn’t. 😦 but I just can’t help it.).I am 21years old and I have been big for most of my life.It has affected my self esteem and confidence so much in the past.I used to look at all of my friends that are slim and beautiful and think to myself why would God punish me.Reading this piece has inspired me to love myself more,to look in the mirror and smile,to just live life.I will not let the word ‘FAT’ define me ,own me and control me anymore.I am a young beautiful,educated and passionate women.I deserve to be loved and not doubt whether it is genuine.You have inspired me and I would just like to say thank you so much. You are amazing.
Will you marry me? I’ll share you with your boyfriend, but I just need you in my life forever!
Well he hasn’t asked me…
Yes yes yes. Perfectly put. You are a real inspiration. You should also know that I have bought two dresses you have blogged about to date, because you looked so good in them! CB 🙂
You are a true inspiration Georgina, thanks so much for sharing your story! 😀
Honestly, I can relate to so much you said: I have been struggling with my body image for a long time, too, but now – at 30 – I am finally at peace with myself and my body and proud of me and my curves!
I have never been “fat” or really large but chubby . Especially as a teenager it found it really hard comparing myself to my stick-thin classmates and friends and being labelled “the chubby one” on more than one occasion. As a result my self-esteem was practically non-existent in those years and you find yourself in a neverending circle of beating yourself up about your looks. 😦
But as you get older you get wiser and I understood that I was myself responsible for how I felt and that I shouldn’t define myself or make myself miserable because of my weight, my chubby bits etc. so I decided to like myself whatever someone else might think or say: the main thing is that I am happy with myself!
And especially people like you, Georgina (have been following you online for a couple of years now) who promote a healthy body image and the message that you can in fact be happy with yourself and self-confident played a big role in that journey, so thanks! ❤
xx Julia
I think your one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I’m a size 14 and love everything vintage. I’m always the envy of my friends as I’m curvy and hourglass. I wear gorgeous 1950’s dresses and make the best of myself. You are gorgeous and I love reading your blog. I get more attention off men and women wearing vintage and being a little bit chubby! My husband seems to like it anyway!! ; )