Tag Archives: being fat

Being Fat.

30 Jul

I apologise in advance for what is going to be a very selfish post all about…me. My life, my experiences and my views.

I’ve been bigger for most of my life.  Not as large as I am now, but compared to my peers I was a heavyweight.  I must have been, or else why would they and my family have constantly found new and interesting ways to bring it to my attention? ‘Heffalumpa’, ‘tree trunk thighs’, ‘Georgie Podgy’ and all manner of other creative terms were flung my way throughout my teenage years.  I sometimes wonder whether I would have loathed my body had no one brought my larger frame to my attention on an almost daily basis, or whether I would have still compared my shape and size to those around me and despaired at it’s apparent heftyness.

3 1 2These days I have a healthier approach to my body.  Just because I am a larger lady, it doesn’t mean that that is all I am.  I am Georgina.  I am someone’s best friend. I am someone’s girlfriend.  I am a blogger.  I work in marketing.  I have done the odd bit of modelling. I have fat on my body, but I am not fat – a mere lump of the stuff. And so what if I do have a bit of chub? What has my extra wibble stopped me doing? I’ve travelled, bungee jumped, sky dived, danced all night long. I’ve gone swimming in rivers, pools, streams and oceans. I’ve been flirted with, hit on and chatted up enough for me to safely conclude that I am not just an undesirable blubbery mess with no other attributes. I go running sporadically, I can climb several flights of stairs without collapsing and although I could be fitter, I’ve never felt hindered by my physical abilities. I fit comfortably into bus, train, plane and rollercoaster seats, and I’ve never capsized a boat. I have never experiences any ailments or illnesses due to my size. Diabetes? No, I am not a silly nonsensical cliché. Raised blood pressure? Only when people push onto a tube that I am getting off (you think they would see me…) Cholesterol problems? Give me a break! I could go on and on with a smug self important things that I have achieved DESPITE my weight and a list of problems that do not go hand in hand with squishy frame, but I think you all get the picture!

There are only ever two occasions that my lardy body gets my down. The first is when I catch a glimpse of myself in photos not looking my best. I am generally happy with my appearance, but when someone with a camera catches me off guard the end result can be monstrous. I do accept that they are capturing me as I look at that time, but I still get hung up and ‘detag’ myself in photos! Likewise, when I sometimes look in the mirror in something that doesn’t suit me or is too small for me, I feel horrid. I feel ashamed. However, would I still feel that way if I were smaller, but just about other parts of my body rather than my fat? And would I still feel that way if I didn’t live in a country that is obsessed with diets and cellulite and the idea that the only way to be perfect and happy is to be slim? Who can say.
The other thing that gets me down is… other people’s reactions to my size. Because as much as I want to make friends with the word ‘fat’, being branded a ‘fat lazy slag’ or any other random throwing together of seemingly negative words DOES hurt – how can it not? Sometimes I dwell on that hurt for days, sometimes I laugh it off within seconds, but it does make a mark on me and make me mentally regret every bite of chocolate and drunken burger I ever scoffed down. I curse myself for allowing my body to take on this vast form and I wonder how anyone could have ever liked me, loved me, seen me naked and felt anything other than nausea.

However, I do bounce back, more determined than ever to carry on with my life, doing all of the things that most other people do, unhindered by my size. I would like to shed some flab, as I do think that I would feel a little more content with some weight off. But my life will not stop until that point, and nor will the opportunities and amazing experiences that I have had and will encounter. I am not my weight. I am not simply ‘fat’ and every negative connotation that goes with that word. I am so much more than that, just like every other person out there who constantly gets reduced to being nothing more than a body size.

‘Being fat’. It’s not a disability, or the worst thing someone can be. It’s not an adequate singular way to describe a person. It’s not a term for a life half lived. It doesn’t call for the faux concern brigade to start firing out phrases like, “I just worry about how their weight will impact their lives in the future.” It’s just the way some people are.

Get over it.

A Fat(e) Worse Than Death?

2 Jan

I just watched the film ‘Bridesmaids’ and although I laughed almost the whole way through it brought one big thing home to me – being fat is one of the funniest grossest things a person can be. I’m not going to lie, I found the characters Brynn and Megan to be amusing and I enjoyed a lot of the jokes that played around the fact that they were bigger, but why could they not have been funny for other reasons, why couldn’t they have been better looking and better dressed like the rest of the characters?

However one of my favourite and most inspiring quotes does come from Megan, the fat funny sister of the groom:

“Megan: I think you’re ready now to hear a little story about a girl…girl named Megan. Girl named Megan that didn’t have a very good time in high school. I’m referring to myself. When I say Megan, it’s me Megan.
Annie: Yeah, I got it.
Megan: I know you look at me now and think, boy she must have breezed through high school. Not the case, Annie.
[pointing to herself]
Megan: No, this was not easy going up and down the halls. Okay? They used to try to blow me up. They threw fire crackers at my head. Fire crackers. I mean literally. I’m not saying that figuratively. I got fire crackers thrown at my head. They called me a freak. Do you think I let that break me? Think I went home to my mommy crying; ‘Oh, I don’t have any friends. Oh, Megan doesn’t have any friends.’ No, I did not. You know what I did? I pulled myself up. I studied really hard. I read every book in the library and now I work for the government. I have the highest possible security clearance. Don’t repeat that!”

Being fat does not make you a failure. I think there are many other things a person can be that could be considered to be a negative thing by some people and yet often these things are given glorification in films.

Topics such as unprotected sex, adultery, drug abuse, car jacking, deceit, eating disorders and many others are touched in in films and TV shows and they are not always given a negative spin. In “Pulp Fiction” Uma Thurman is the sexy wife of a gang leader who indulges in a few Class A trips every so often. The fact that she is almost killed by abusing a substance wrongly is portrayed in quite a light way to my eyes. Countless chick flick movies involve a slim female character talking about starving herself to lose those extra ten pounds to fit into her prom dress or something similar – quite notably in “Mean Girls”. In “A Fish Called Wanda” Jamie Lee Curtis is seen as being very clever and cunning, despite using sex and her feminine ways to get 3 different men to do what she wants – and she succeeds. James Bond is a serial womaniser who seems to bed every slim young pretty female character in the films and there are never any negative consequences – unwanted babies, diseases, being called a ‘slag’. Yet to be fat in a film is to be unattractive and to rarely be the heroine or hero. Maybe this is why I love the film “Mall Cop” so much – because Paul Blart is the saviour of the day AND he gets the sweet sexy girl! I also loved “The Inbetweeners Movie” even though I initially I disliked how the larger girl was protrayed. But the end message was clear – it doesn’t matter how big you are, you can still get the guy and show up an attractive idiot with an ugly personality.

It’s the same with celebrities. It is common knowledge that many celebs abuse drink and drugs, cheat, lie, have unnecessary amounts of plastic surgery and lead rather debauched lifestyles, but the one singular goal that most seem to aim towards is to be slim. To be successful in movies and the pop industry you mainly need to have a good body. Stars such as Adele, James Corden and Susan Boyle stand out because they ignore that trend – and fair play to them. Victoria Beckham is said to never smile much in case she gets wrinkles and keeps herself on strict diet. Adele smiles all the time and looks healthy and happy. I know who I’d rather look up too.

Why can’t a few more films break the mould and chose some plumper characters for the starring roles. Why do fat people have to be portrayed as being something non aspirational, why is it normal to insult people by calling them ‘fat’ and ‘heffa’ but you don’t see many people being told how they are ‘selfish’ and ‘cruel’ and many other much worse traits within our control. I am fat, I get called fat, I’ve had comments on here letting me know just that:

And what amused me was that both of those comments were made without the people involved reading the posts! The ‘Real Women Have Curves’ post was not hating on skinny chicas, and the Simply Yours bras were actually too loose around the band or just right! I think that in those cases both of those commenters were far worse people than me because yes I may be fat and tattooed, but at least I don’t go out of my way to be cruel in order to make other people upset.

So next time someone insults you by calling you fat (if you are that way inclined) just smile and thank them. Because being fat is a whole lot less evil than what some other people have chosen to do with their lives – and judging them on their physical appearance is one of them. Plus personally I’d rather be called ‘fat’ – because I am, rather than a ‘slag’ simply because I have large boobs.

I have written some other posts on this subject.
Check out: Embrace Your Curves,
Rationalising Aspirations,
Do We Judge Too Quickly? and
Absolutely Flabulous.