As I am on the larger side I have always been thrilled to see slogans and posters like this:
I relished in the fact that some people thought me to be a ‘real woman’ due to the fact that I had ‘curves’…but this feeling of elation didn’t last all too long. Maybe it’s due to the amazing competitions I have partaken in this year that have taught me and shown me so many things. Or the amazing new friends I have made and women I have met who have really demonstrated how gorgeous women are at every size, shape, height and colour. But I have started to feel a little enraged every time I see plus sized women/clothes/models getting described as ‘curvy’ ‘curvy friendly’ and so on and so forth. And to suggest that some women are not ‘real’ because they have a slimmer figure just makes my blood boil.
Here is it as I see it:
ALL women have curves. Even the slimmest smallest women have ‘a line that deviates from straightness’. Some women choose to be slim through dieting and exercise, some do not choose too due to illness or general body shape and none should be judged and told they are not ‘real’. Just like some women are naturally larger with more defined curves and are ‘real women’, sure, but show me a woman who is or wants to be a biological woman who is not ‘real’. Women are generally insecure about their bodies without the added pressure to fit into various categories. Having always been overweight myself I know what it is like to be bullied and taunted and have assumptions made due to my size, yet now it seems that women of all sizes are being labelled and told that they are not the right size or shape to be ‘real’ or ‘curvy’ – and this is utter nonsense. Society is changing and the media seems to be more accepting of larger models which is amazing, but it shouldn’t be at the cost of the very slim models who have graced our catwalks and magazines for so long.
And as for curves – well sure, plus size women will be larger and have more obvious curves but it does not mean that they are the only women who have those sumptuous body parts, it just means they have them in abundance. Women should be proud of their bodies whatever shape and size, they shouldn’t be disheartened by being told they are not ‘curvy’ enough or ‘real’ enough to be accepted. This blog article is just amazing, funny and totally rules the ‘real women’ debate.
These are the kind of posters I want to see in the future, featuring the likes of slim yet curvy Tess Georgia Dimos and the stunning Curvy Kate models as well as the larger ladies who currently grace these kind of posters. No woman should be seen as anything less than just that – woman.
Fuller Figure Fuller Bust 
YEY! You’re absolutely right! Thanks for the post! 🙂
❤ xxx
What a great post, really inspiring! I wish the media would share your view and stop putting us all into categories 🙂
Thank you. I love your blog xxx
It seems that the media spends to much time making women hate themselves and wish that they were someone else. The world would be a better place if everyone just stopped listening to all that crap they hear.
Hear hear xxx
I agree with the others. This was a great post. I never really seriously thought about how it demeaned women that weren’t “curvy”. We have too many things out here that pit curvy people against non-curvy people and that is really sad. Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
Thank you, so glad you agree xxx
Well said!! As someone who started a bra store for curvy women, I can appreciate what you’ve written. All women do have curves, and all women are real women. Women are so hard on themselves–harder than any other person, man or woman, can ever be–and it is sad when the media/movies/etc. give us one more reason to feel bad about how we look. It’s about time we embraced all shapes, sizes, and skin colors as being beautiful!
Amen!x
As a naturally skinny girl, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate what you have written! One of my friends pointed me to this post after I spent the day crying – I had been ganged up on by a group of larger girls at the office for months now, with endless taunts of “eat a burger, you anorexic b*tch” and so on. I can’t help the way I look! I have tried to put on weight for ages, even supplementing my already large meals with protein shakes and all I have to show for it is a dangerously increased cholesterol level.
The body debate has been so extreme from both sides in recent years that it doesn’t matter what shape you are any more – it’s always wrong it seems, and a source of hatred for someone. If you’re bigger, you’re apparently a drain on the health system, if you’re smaller, you must have an eating disorder and be a vapid fashionista. It’s completely idiotic and serves to only fuel hatred and dispair in all women. I’m so very very thankful that there are still folks out there that don’t buy into the spin and hype and are just happy with who they are. It has been an absolute joy to find your posts. I cannot thank you enought.
Oh my goodness you poor thing! I just want to cuddle you! I hate how society has become and hate how people speak their minds way too freely. I hope these nasty stupid bitches realise the hurt they are causing you and I am glad that you are able to see beyond it. Do you really need to gain weight for health reasons? Have you seen a GP?xx
To be honest, I do not need to gain weight for health – I just got so sick of being told that I’m evil and promoting eating disorders if I don’t have boobs and a bum (really though, one day I do hope to fill out more than a B-Cup, but if my mum & gran are anything to go by, I won’t get those until I’ve had a kid or two).
I did get a bit concerned at one stage and went to a GP, as at one point I started to actually lose weight despite attempting to eat more fat (went on an epic junk-food binge out of desperation) – apparently my body just can’t handle processed food, doesn’t store fat, and it has the opposite effect on me – I ended up looking really quite anorexic. Oh, the irony! So now I’m back on a healthy diet and yoga, but with larger quantities of food and have managed to gain enough to be able to fill out a size 8.
The office girls seem to take this as some sort of personal attack. I made the mistake of telling one of them what the GP told me and it turned into a massive flood of vitriol from her circle of friends. I can understand to a degree – it must suck like all hell to see some girl struggle to maintain weight gain while you’re desperately trying to shed kilos…. but seriously? It’s all a bit ridiculous. If they put as much effort into their work as they do into hating my bony ass, they’d be promoted by now and never have to see me again lol
Eurgh, they sound like jealous bitter trollops and I wouldn’t listen,or better still get them done for bullying! I am outraged on your behalf 😦 good for you for carrying on living healthily, I won’t deny my jealousy xx
What a wonderful post!!
Living in the USA, a lot of the emphasis has always been on being thin with big boobs. Even after having children!
I have never been plus size but also never skinny and at times found myself wishing either I was skinner( with flatter abs and thinner thighs) or a bit curvier (with bigger boobs and more of a real hourglass figure). It always seemed to me that either the thin girls or the curvy big girls always had the attention of the boys or really anyone. And to be honest I have a terrible time finding clothes at times, much to my very curvy little sister’s disbelief, lol.
It is only now that I am coming up on my 30th birthday, the mother of two kids (who finally added a bit more hips to my body and bumped my cup size up to a C ,lol) and a very doting husband that I am completely happy with my body shape. I accepted my shape and the curves I have, learned to love it and accentuate it, and the confidence shines through! And the funny thing to me, is that when I go out now with my girlfriends is how many more men (or women in some cases) flirt with me.
I have girlfriends of every shape and size and have always thought they were all so sexy in their own way. – Though I do admit to still being quite jealous of some of my more booblicious girlfriends at times, telling them they ought to share. 😉
And I just have to say I utterly admire you for putting this blog on and posting your gorgeous pictures!
Thank you for sharing, it’s funny how we all covet sizes that are bigger or smaller than our own and yet the media slates them all! Are you body happy? Do you think your ideal weight is to be a little bigger/smaller?xxx
For the most part I pretty body happy and at a weight that I am confident with, even if the charts say I am slightly overweight. Course these are the same medical charts that told my BF that she was obese since she is short and very pear shaped. And she runs a lot so she has a lot more muscle mass.
I am trying to tone up a bit more and of course keep in shape but more for the ability to keep up with two kids under 5 than anything else, lol
Eurgh, those medical charts should be banned, for example my bust weighs 4kg…so if I lost just that then I would be a far better weight! If you are happy and can climb a flight of stairs without collapsing and feel confident naked in front of a mirror then sod the charts!x
Amen!
Wonderful!
It’s in the air today, there is another article concerning this topic at lingerie addict online.
> show me a biological woman who is not ‘real’
see, this is why i have a problem with this article. there are women who do not have curves, or a vagina, or XX chromosomes. there are men who have curves and a vagina and XY chromosomes. this doesn’t make their gender identity any less legitimate, and to deny or overlook their existence does a huge disservice not only to the trans* community but to all women. trans* women are women, trans* issues are women’s issues.
disclaimer: i’m not trying to attack you. i’m sure you had good intentions in writing this article, and i’m sure you’re not the kind of person who wants to oppress other people. i’d recommend reading this article (http://tranarchism.com/2010/11/26/not-your-moms-trans-101/) to brush up a bit on trans* issues, and, in the future, taking time to think about how you talk about sex and gender.
thanks for taking the time to listen to me! i hope you have a great day 🙂
My exclusion of trans women was not deliberate, more based on the fact that at the time of writing I had little knowledge on the subject. Since then I have seen a few documentaries that have made me re think and have changed my perspective (“The Boy Who Was Born A Girl”, “My Transsexual Summer”). If I am not aware of something to the fullest extent it does not mean that I am rude, just ignorant to a subject at the time maybe but I refuse to apologise for that. I understand how I may have caused hurt to trans women but like I said it was not deliberate and I did not purposefully set out the write the article and try to exclude trans women. I think you can find way more offensive articles than my own to pull apart and judge and people who actually are malicious and cruel with their words. I have now edited the article as my knowledge has changed.
No one hates better than a fat girl. Find something better to do. Not requiring food. Maybe requiring exercise.
PS: Thin sex is the best sex.
Learn to read you piece of shit
lol I fucking love your reply to this G. 😉 You ruthless cutie.
Congrats on your lack of reading comprehension. I’m sure your mother would be proud.
Seriously, perhaps it is *you* that needs to find something better to do. Might I recommend that you take a class on reading comprehension?
As a naturally thin 27 year old woman, I very much appreciate your words and thank you for writing them. I also have disliked the phrase “real women have curves” because it is also an exclusionary phrase and does not truly celebrate diversity. Just because I don’t have much in the way of curves, does that make me not a woman? All my insecurities center around “womanhood” and what a woman should look like.
I have been told to “eat a f-ing cheeseburger” before. As if… I could eat 10 cheeseburgers and not gain weight. I certainly wish I could, but I can’t. It’s just the way I am and I don’t feel like I should have to apologize for my natural metabolism. “Pancake”, “twig”, and “ironing board” are just as insulting as “cow” and “fatty”, in my opinion.
Not only do I not have much curves in the waist/hip area, for a long time I had A-cup breasts. I was raised in this culture that made us women feel like men admire full breasts and womanly curves and I was so sad that I felt I couldn’t claim my womanhood. I was forever stuck as a pre-pubescent 12 year old child. To my knowledge, the only men who find children sexy are pedophiles. As I got older, I started feeling more mature, more of a woman in my mind, but my body did not grow to reflect it. It is such a strange body-disconnect.
You know, I read the comment above about the exclusion of trans-women, and it reminded me of my empathy for transexual people. I saw a documentary about transsexual/transgender people and couldn’t help nodding because I know exactly how they feel, like you don’t fit in your body. Like your outside does not reflect you on the inside. On the inside, I was a woman. I am smart, graduated college, I’m even tempered, easy-going and capable. I love sex and surprise my bf sometimes with the thoughts in my head.. lol! And yet, for a long time I felt like no man would ever discover the woman I am inside because the only man I could attract are those who are into children.
I’ve also hated being called “cute”. Goes back to looking like a child. Wished I could be sexy, that it was possible for me. But again the equation kept coming up A) Unwomanly, childish body + B) A man thinking I was sexy, must then = the guy thought children were sexy. Ugh… see how toxic this whole thing is? I want to be a sexy woman, is that so much to ask?!!
Being a woman is such a huge part of a female’s identity. To feel as if you cannot claim your own identity and embrace your natural self is very painful, whether you think you are too big, or in my case, if you just wish you could claim your womanhood and be sexy even without boobs and curves. It’s hard to find people who empathize with me, since I have what everyone apparently “wants”. But that doesn’t mean I’m fair game to tear down. No, being thin is not ALWAYS confidence-boosting, and looking like jail-bait is not that great. But anyway..
I still struggle when people tell my I look 12, but thankfully I just got so tired of feeling unwomanly, inadequate and “cute” (i.e. not sexy) that I just stopped giving the thoughts free rein. I didn’t want to feel bad anymore. It’s very difficult to turn off your internal negative tape recorder, but you can only fake it til you make it. It takes discipline to cut off negative thoughts when you recognize you are starting to think them. I don’t feel like a fraud anymore and I know I knock my bf’s socks off. I don’t care if I don’t have much in OTHER’S opinion- frankly they can kiss the one asset that I DO have- my bubbly hot ass!
Again thank you for writing this great piece. I got your back sister! You got the womanly shape and curves I didn’t get blessed with. Real women are women in their minds and hearts no matter their shape.